


Char

by lexus_grey



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Abby makes Diyoza call Kane daddy, Clarke and Bellamy are in charge, Clarke and Bellamy are the only ones that want Octavia locked up, Control, D/s, Diyoza's baby needs an artificial lung, F/F, F/M, I gave Diyoza a middle name and it's Catalina, I haven't seen season 6 yet so the new planet is not canon, I've seen season 6 now but I'm keeping the planet I created anyway and not changing it to canon, Raven and Niylah are bros, Raven is the genius she is, Spanking, TW for food issues/sort of an eating disorder, TW for reference to cutting/self-harm, Takes place after season 5, Threesome, anal without lube, see summary for more details of TW
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-08-13 11:56:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20173855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lexus_grey/pseuds/lexus_grey
Summary: This is a Kane/Abby/Diyoza fic at heart but it has some other issues and elements worked in. Basically Diyoza isn't allowed to see her baby and she is a mess, and the one thing she can control is how much she eats. Cue Abby's worry and Marcus's gentlemanly intervention, and things build from there.TW for food issues/sort of an eating disorder, because Diyoza is refusing to eat in retaliation for her baby being taken away from her, and it becomes a habit after awhile, and Abby and Marcus step in to help her in their own way. I am not saying this is how to deal with an eating disorder, but for this particular story, that's how it is. Please do not read if this will trigger you.





	1. Chapter 1

"I'm a little worried about you."

"Really? Is it the retaliatory anorexia or the recreational drug use? Or is it just that you think I might have a _cold_?"

"Diyoza, I'm serious."

"So am I. What part of that didn't sound serious?"

"Please, I'm trying to help y--"

"You let Clarke and Bellamy take away my fucking baby!" Diyoza finally raised her voice, jumping off the cot and jabbing a finger into Abby's chest. "Take your concern and hang your daughter with it."

"I didn't have a choice in the matter," Abby started to defend herself, but that wasn't going to help anything, and she sighed. "You're going to get her back when your sentence is up."

"Nobody trusts me. I get it. Fine. So put me in a cell and give me my baby and let me rot away in peace."

"That's not how Clarke and Bellamy want things to work anymore. They don't want to lock people up unless they absolutely have to. Your sentence is better served by helping Jordan with the hydrofarm and getting to sleep in your own bed. You've only got two months left."

"Your fucking kid won't even let me see mine!" Diyoza yelled, slamming a fist onto the doctor's desk before her anger deflated into grief. "She barely let me hold her before she took her, Abby..."

Abby's heart broke for the colonel and she resisted the urge to reach out and touch her face in comfort. "I'm sorry. I have as much of a say as you do."

"But she's your daughter. Can't you do anything? Just get me a five-minute visit? Please..."

"You're right, she is my daughter, but she's not the one I raised. I'll try talking to her but don't get your hopes up, all right?"

Diyoza deflated further and turned away to hide the prick of tears that had formed. "Thanks."

"Now will you sit down and let me examine you?"

\--

"Clarke, I think you should let Diyoza see her baby," Abby said the first chance she got to be alone with Clarke, getting right down to business.

"Not possible," Clarke said, waving off the suggestion.

"Why not? She's been perfectly docile and agreeable since you sentenced her to the hydrofarm. She hasn't caused any trouble and she's been a great help to Jordan. I know you want to punish her because you're angry at her, but this isn't humane."

"Do you really think that little of me? That I took away her baby to punish her?" Clarke asked, her eyes slightly widening.

"What else am I supposed to think?"

"Her baby was born with one lung, Mom," Clarke said a bit angrily. "She's in quarantine while Raven builds her another one, which you would have known if you didn't spend all your time avoiding me. I didn't take her baby to fucking punish her. Get out."

Abby stood there in silence, staring at her daughter, guilt creeping over her like a shroud as she grasped for something to say. "But... why doesn't she know this?"

"You'd have to ask Bellamy. He's in charge of dealing with the convicts. I said get out."

Swallowing past the lump in her throat, Abby retreated from the room and shut the door behind her, taking a deep breath before heading to find Bellamy.

\--

When she asked why Diyoza hadn't been informed of the situation with her baby, Bellamy just shrugged one shoulder and took another bite of his apple.

The crunching sound made Abby want to strangle him, which was odd given the fact that the sound of someone chewing an apple had never bothered her before. "Bellamy. Why?" she asked again.

Bellamy carefully sliced another piece of apple from the core and bit it in half, talking with his mouth full. "She tried to kill my sister."

Abby could feel her blood starting to boil and finally she snatched the apple out of his hand and slammed it on the table. "Arrange for her to see Hope. Now. She can stand outside the quarantine."

"Yeah, I'll get right on that," Bellamy said with a snort, snatching back his apple. "After I finish my lunch."

\--

After learning of the situation and being allowed to see her baby, Diyoza went from angry to worried sick. Raven had to ban her from the lab in order to get any work done. She still refused to eat much, but now it was out of habit and anxiety rather than retaliation.

"Come on... you ate two bites of beans," Abby said about a week after Diyoza had gotten to see Hope. "That's not enough to sustain you, especially with how hard you work every day. Please try to eat some more?"

"I can't," Diyoza insisted, shoving her tray away. "Do you think Raven's almost done building her other lung? How long is it going to take? Is she going to survive until then? What if--"

"Honey," Abby said, the nickname slipping off her tongue instinctively. "She's stable. She's in quarantine so no one can get her sick while she's vulnerable, that's all. She's going to be fine, and I'm sure Raven will be done soon. She's the best engineer the world has ever seen, okay?"

"But she's human, isn't she? Humans make errors. She could--"

"Raven doesn't make errors," Abby interrupted that train of thought. "And yes, she's human, but she also had an AI living inside her brain that left her with some extra knowledgeability. Please, stop thinking of all that could go wrong. Hope could literally not be in better hands than Raven's."

When Diyoza still refused to eat anything more Abby went to Kane, who was in conversation with one of the grounders at the next table. "She took two bites. That's the least she's eaten at a single meal and I'm worried," she said quietly.

Kane nodded at her and politely excused himself from his conversation, then followed Abby back to their table and sat next to Diyoza.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Abby?" she laughed. "You went running to your boyfriend?"

Kane said nothing, he merely laid one hand on Diyoza's back and scooped up a spoonful of beans, holding it to her mouth, his eyes boring into hers.

She eyed him, then eyed Abby, then back to Kane and arched her brows, unimpressed.

Kane finally spoke, his voice so quiet that Diyoza had to strain to hear him even though he was right next to her. "This can go one of two ways," he said. "You can sit here and eat your meal without a fuss; that's option one." 

She waited but he didn't continue, and despite herself he had her curiosity piqued. "And option two?"

"I'm glad you asked." His voice was still just as quiet. "We can bring your meal to your quarters where I will spank you like a misbehaving child and then you will eat your meal without a fuss; that's option two. I'll allow you a moment to decide."

Abby couldn't hear what he said but it must have been incredible because Diyoza started blushing bright red and fumbling for words.

"You c-- I mean what-- this is un-- you can't force me to eat, Kane..."

"It sounds like you're deciding on option two; am I correct?" Kane asked, his feathers unruffled by her reaction.

"No, you're not fucking correct!" she hissed, sitting on her hands to avoid punching him in the face and prolonging her community service sentence. It might be worth it though...

"So you're going to sit here and eat without a fuss? Excellent," Kane said patronizingly and once again held the spoon up to her mouth. He had little tolerance for anyone putting themselves at risk when there were so few people left in civilization and they had fought so hard to get here.

Cheeks burning like the flames of hell, Diyoza finally opened her mouth.

Kane didn't want to make her sick and defeat the entire purpose, so for the first meal he only had her eat a few more bites and then allowed her to be done.

When they were back in their room, Abby sat on the bed and grinned at him. "Thank you. How did you accomplish that so easily, if I may ask?"

He smirked and sat next to her, running his fingers through her hair. "I told her she could either eat... or I could spank her like a misbehaving child and then she could eat."

Abby choked on a laugh and ran a hand over her face. "You wouldn't have actually done that to her, would you?"

"Do I strike you as a man that makes idle threats?" he asked, raising a gentle eyebrow. "Of course I would have."

Something about that stirred a heat low in Abby's belly and she leaned over to kiss him. "Why is that idea so appealing?" she questioned rhetorically.

Kane's eyebrow lifted higher. "Is it?" he asked, considering it. "I hadn't thought of it that way. Merely a means to an end."

"Because you're a gentleman," Abby whispered in his ear.

"My thoughts at the moment aren't very gentlemanly," he confessed.

"Finally."

\--

For the next few weeks things went smoothly. Diyoza was allowed to see Hope daily even though she still wasn't allowed anywhere near Raven's lab. She ate how much she wanted and then allowed Kane to feed her how much _he _wanted. She had to admit she was starting to feel slightly better overall. It wasn't something she could really pinpoint or specify, it was just less moments of feeling weak or sick.

Today... Kane was out on a supply run and it was just her and Abby at their usual table. Hope's lung was finished being constructed and Raven was currently turning the hermetically-sealed quarantine room into a fully-functioning OR. The procedure was going to take place first thing in the morning. To say she was nerve wracked would be an understatement and she just didn't feel like eating lunch. She picked at it and took a bite or two, then pushed the tray away from her in disgust.

"We're not starting this again," Abby spoke up.

"Fuck off, it's not your daughter getting an experimental artificial lung tomorrow morning," Diyoza said without missing a beat.

"No, it's my daughter putting one in," Abby replied just as smoothly. "Have a little faith, Colonel. And at least eat your meat if nothing else."

Diyoza purposely took a tiny bite of mashed potatoes and pushed the tray away again. "I'm done."

Abby suddenly felt like the pushover parent that Diyoza was trying to get one over on. "If Marcus were here--"

"He's not here, is he?" Diyoza made a show of looking around. "And he won't be back until tomorrow morning."

For some reason she felt like she would be letting Marcus down if she broke the cycle he had built up with Diyoza. "And you don't think I'm capable of following through on his original threat?"

"You're capable," Diyoza said, raising an eyebrow. "Somehow I just don't think you're willing."

Abby stood up, resolute. "Come on."

Diyoza's gaze snapped up to the doctor's. "What?"

"Come on," Abby repeated, keeping her voice and posture as casual as she could. "Come with me."

"I don't think so," Diyoza snorted. "Nice try though."

"Get up from the table and come with me or I can have Bellamy escort you," Abby said, the casual tone replaced by a more authoritative one.

Trying not to let on how much it bothered her, Diyoza got up and stepped over the bench, arms folded across her chest as she wandered slowly over to Abby. "Do your worst," she said with a smirk, though what she really wanted was for Abby to forget the whole thing and leave her alone. Well, sort of. She supposed the attention she'd been getting the past few weeks was nice...

Abby flagged down a member of the cleaning crew on their way out of the cafeteria. "Leave our table, please. We'll be back to finish in a bit."

He nodded with a smile. "Sure thing, Dr. Griffin."

"Thanks, Carter."

Diyoza couldn't help mocking Abby's friendliness as they walked down the corridor. "_Thanks, Carter_."

Abby ignored the colonel completely and opened the door to the quarters she and Marcus shared, ushering Diyoza in ahead of her. She stepped inside and shut the door, engaging the locking mechanism. "Last chance to change your mind and finish your lunch," she offered, laying a gentle hand on Diyoza's arm.

"You realize this is ridiculous, right?" came Diyoza's acidic reply.

"Is that your final answer?"

"I'm not going to eat it whether you spank me or not."

"I guess we'll see, since you're determined to be so stubborn." She went to Marcus's closet and ran her fingers over his selection of belts, choosing a sturdy black one made of calcorn leather and returning to Diyoza's side with it.

"You have to use one of his belts? Can't even bring yourself to punish me without him helping you?" Diyoza snapped when she saw it.

Abby finally smirked and set the belt on the bed, then went to her closet and returned with a handful of her own, all of them studded or covered in jewelry of some sort, and held them out. "Honey, these are my belts. Do you want me to use one of these?"

Diyoza, as Abby had no doubt intended, suddenly felt like a jackass and stared at the floor. She had to clear her throat to make her voice work. "Uh... not really, no."

"Are you done with the false bravado?" Abby asked as she hung her belts back up in her closet and made her way back to the colonel.

"Look, I'm just worried about my kid," Diyoza said, shoving her hands in the pockets of jeans that were a little too baggy.

"Don't make this about Hope," Abby shook her head. "You've been worried about her for over a month and you still ate when Marcus asked you to. This is about you pushing the limits because he's not here and you don't think I have enough of a backbone to follow through."

"Why do you even think either of you have the right--"

"We've been through this multiple times," Abby interrupted.

"Yes, I know. You _care_," Diyoza nearly spat at her. "But what if I don't?"

"Then we care for you until the day that you do," Abby answered simply.

Diyoza snorted. "You make it sound easy."

"It is easy. Enough stalling, Colonel. Turn around and bend over the bed."

Her cheeks flushed bright red. "I can't."

"Char--"

"Don't call me that, please. I'm not being an ass... I just can't make myself do that. It goes against every self-preservation instinct I've honed and developed in my life."

"You need me to help you?" Abby thought she understood.

Diyoza hesitated; debated lying, or maybe running, but finally she shrugged, defeated. "Yes. I guess so."

Abby nodded. Gentle hands landed on Diyoza's shoulders and she turned the colonel around. Once that was accomplished, she moved one hand along a tense shoulder and down until it rested on Diyoza's upper back. She applied light pressure until she got the result she wanted.

Diyoza let out a shuddering breath as she placed her hands on the mattress. There was something about this that was affecting her more than she'd expected, and in different ways. Did she want it to happen? Not particularly. But a part of her was glad for Abby's resolve, glad that someone gave a shit about her, glad to have two very good friends that weren't mercenaries for hire. That wouldn't stab her in the back if a better offer came along. She wasn't even sure why she felt the need to test Abby when she hadn't tested Kane. "I'm sorry," she said before she could bite back her words. "I'll eat lunch."

Abby ran her hands over her face, torn now about what to do. She had already said last chance and Diyoza had responded by taunting her. "I appreciate that, but--"

"I know," Diyoza cut her off, not wanting to make her feel like the bad guy. "I know. I just wanted to tell you."

Abby's heart warmed at that and she laid her hand on Diyoza's back. "Thank you," she said, then took a slow breath and reached beneath the colonel to unbutton and unzip her pants.

Diyoza had somehow not expected that to be part of this equation and her breath left her lungs in a rush. "Fuck."

Abby tugged the jeans down before she lost her nerve and tried not to appreciate the black lace panties Diyoza was wearing. She quickly picked up the belt and folded it in half to keep her mind on the punishment and not other things that were even more inappropriate than spanking. "I'm going to begin," she announced, not entirely sure her voice didn't shake, and then she laid the belt on Diyoza's backside, brought her arm back and swung forward.

The sound hit her ears before anything else and she jumped in surprise. Then when the impact registered she groaned and dropped her head down between her arms.

Abby was fascinated with the red stripe the belt left behind. Of course being intelligent and being a doctor she understood the physics and biology behind it, but actually seeing it sent a jolt of energy through her that she clamped down hard on to finish her task. She landed the belt again.

The second stroke hurt worse, either because she knew what was coming, because Abby had swung harder, or because her skin was already sensitive from the first one. She cried out softly and turned her face to bite down on her arm, embarrassed at making any noise at all.

Abby wasn't sure how many she should give so she stopped at five and set the belt down, laying a hand once again on Diyoza's back. She intended to say they were all done but what left her mouth wasn't that. "Just a few more with my hand and then we're done," she said instead. Jesus, Abby...

Diyoza almost shot upright at that. "What?" she asked, blinking her surprise. "Why?"

"I'm not sure," Abby said honestly, sliding her hand from Diyoza's back to her bright red backside.

Diyoza gasped at the feel of Abby's hand on her blazing skin, a blush moving across her face and throat. She reminded herself she was not supposed to be enjoying any of this and forcibly closed her eyes in an attempt to shut out the more pleasant feelings Abby's touch inspired. Unfortunately it did nothing to help and when Abby smacked her she let out a whimper. Her backside stung unpleasantly from the belt but Abby's hand was a different sensation entirely. She needed this to be over with before she embarrassed herself any further. "Please... I'm ready to finish my lunch," she said shakily.

Abby spanked her one more time, committing the feel of it to memory, and then quickly stepped back. "All right," she said after clearing her throat. "Done." Since when was she reduced to one- and two-word sentences?

Diyoza stood and fixed her jeans, willing the blush away from her cheeks as she cleared her own throat and moved to the door, unlocking it and heading for the cafeteria without waiting for Abby. She needed a minute.

Grateful for a second to collect herself, Abby took a few deep breaths, hung the belt back in Marcus's closet, and then followed after Diyoza a minute later. She found the colonel seated rigidly at their table, both of her hands wrapped around the edge of the bench, her tray untouched in front of her.

As soon as she saw Abby she tensed even more, knuckles turning white from her grip on the bench beneath her.

Abby typically sat across from her but she slid onto the bench beside her instead. "Why aren't you eating?"

Diyoza's breath came shallow as she answered. "Kane usually..." She trailed off, knowing Abby would understand.

This time there was no mistaking the fact that it was arousal coiled low in her belly and Abby's jaw tried to hang open but she forced it shut. She swallowed hard and nodded, picking up Diyoza's fork and knife. Shaking hands cut a piece of meat and she speared it with the fork, bringing it to the colonel's mouth.

Diyoza opened up obediently and ate the meat.

Abby shivered. What a dangerous feeling, to have that kind of power over someone. Was this how Marcus felt when he fed her? Probably not. She repeated the process with another piece of meat and again Diyoza silently opened her mouth to comply. "Diyoza," she finally said, her voice containing a note of pleading. "I know Marcus usually does this but I'm having... it's making me..." She blushed bright red and set the fork on the tray, taking a slow breath and trying again. "It's affecting me in a way that I think it doesn't affect Marcus."

"And what way is that?" Diyoza asked without looking at her, still rigidly tense.

How could she put this without making a fool out of herself? "It's making me feel much too powerful," she said quietly.

"And that's a problem for you?" Diyoza asked.

"It's not a problem for you?" Abby returned, surprised.

“No.”

“It’s not a problem for you that controlling you like this is turning me on?” Abby asked, arms sliding crossed over her chest.

There were a hundred things Diyoza could have said in response to that but any of them would have betrayed her own subtle interest. So she stuck with simplicity. “No.”

Abby exhaled sharply and fought with herself over whether she could let herself continue. Finally she forced her tense muscles to slacken and speared another piece of meat, holding it to Diyoza’s lips.

This time Diyoza deliberately flicked her eyes up to Abby’s face as she opened her mouth. After she swallowed she put on her best innocent expression and asked, “do I have to eat it all?”

Abby’s nostrils flared with the effort to remain somewhat professional and she took a moment to collect her thoughts before giving a terse nod. “Yes.”

“The meat _and_ the potatoes?” the colonel asked, opening again as Abby offered another piece of meat.

“Yes,” Abby said, her voice holding a note of disapproval at the continued questioning.

Something sarcastic danced on the tip of her tongue, but Diyoza held it back and just nodded with a defeated sigh.

\--

Marcus actually returned later that night, arms laden with things Abby didn’t recognize, so the supply run must have gone exceptionally well. She rushed over to help him unload, taking things from his arms one at a time and setting them on the conveyor belts in the loading area for him. When his arms were empty she hugged him and leaned up to kiss him. “I see it went well?”

“Very well,” he said, returning the embrace and kissing her back, a hand rubbing up and down her side. “How did things go here?”

“Dinner was fine… lunch was not.” She told him what had happened as they walked back to their quarters and a frown marred his features as he listened.

“Unacceptable,” he said, shaking his head, and stopped them at Diyoza’s quarters, rapping sharply on the door.

Diyoza blinked and put down her book, getting up to answer the door. Her eyebrows lifted to see Abby and Kane on the other side of it. “Can I help you? It’s late…”

Kane, as was often his way, didn’t say anything in response, he merely stepped inside and brought Abby with him, shutting the door behind them.

Abby was as surprised as Diyoza and she shrugged when the colonel shot her a questioning look.

“Sure, come on in,” she said dryly as Marcus took a seat on her bed. “Oh, and have a seat.”

“I understand there was an issue with lunch?” Marcus asked, all business, from his tone to his expression to his posture.

He started rolling up the cuffs of his sleeves and Diyoza’s throat went dry. “What is this? Get spanked with Mom, get spanked again with Dad?” she spat venomously to cover the sudden flutter in her stomach.

“Something like that,” Marcus said without missing a beat.

Abby’s jaw dropped. She felt her way over to a chair across from the bed and dropped down into it, unable to take her eyes from the scene.

“Seriously?” Diyoza asked, gaze shooting from Kane to Abby and back to Kane.

“Absolutely,” Marcus replied, “and I don’t expect a fuss. Just lie across my lap and I’ll take care of the rest.”

“What rest?” Her voice almost squeaked and her face flushed for what felt like the millionth time that day. But despite everything, she took a few steps toward him. She felt the sudden urge to run over to Abby in an attempt for protection, but she quickly dismissed that idea and closed the gap between her and Kane. It took her another few seconds to bend over, but she forced herself to do it. Her hands shook as she folded them beneath her head.

Abby could see and sense all the things Diyoza was trying to hide, and she got up, went to the bed and sat beside Marcus, pulling the colonel’s head into her lap and gently stroking her hair.

Diyoza gasped and almost shot off the bed entirely, but then wrapped her arms lightly around Abby’s waist and settled back down.

Satisfied with the compliance and the situation altogether, Marcus nodded and tugged down Diyoza’s flannel pajama pants along with her panties, resting his hand on her backside.

Diyoza groaned, not sure whether it was from embarrassment or anticipation. She didn’t have time to figure it out because Kane’s hand connected almost immediately and she lost the ability to think logically, along with her breath.

Marcus spanked her a few times to get her attention before he paused to speak. “Did you give Abby a hard time about eating lunch?”

Oh Jesus, she was supposed to answer questions when she felt like this? “Yes,” she squeaked out, turning her head to hide her face against Abby’s stomach.

“Hmm?” Marcus asked, raising an eyebrow.

“She said yes,” Abby relayed to him.

His smile was almost a smirk. “I know what she said,” he informed them both. “I’m looking for a little more.” His hand fell several more times and he tried again. “Did you give Abby a hard time about eating lunch?”

She hadn’t really caught her breath yet but she thought she knew what he wanted, and it came out winded, but she picked up her head to make it as clear as she could. “Yes, Sir.”

Abby thought she was going to come right there and her hand inadvertently tightened in Diyoza’s hair. When she realized it, she relaxed her grip. “Sorry,” she murmured.

“It’s all right,” Diyoza said as she lay her head back down, face pressed into Abby’s stomach again.

“That’s a more acceptable response for someone of your background,” Marcus said approvingly. “I’m guessing it won’t happen again? You giving Abby a hard time?”

Diyoza shook her head. Even before this spectacle she had already come to terms with compliance, whether it was Kane or Abby enforcing it. “No Sir.”

Abby’s hand tightened and released again, her breathing slightly labored. “You two are going to kill me,” she muttered, shaking her head.

Marcus just smiled and went back to spanking, lighting up the colonel’s ass good and hard, while Diyoza squeezed Abby tighter and nuzzled her nose under the doctor’s shirt to press her face against bare skin. She needed the connection. Her mind was spiraling out of control with all the conflicting sensations and being this close to Abby was giving her some comfort. 

Abby made a soft sound of appreciation and shifted her hips in a vain attempt to alleviate the growing wetness between her legs.

Kane was spanking her much harder than Abby had and it didn’t take long for tears to sting her eyes. She clung to Abby, more turned on than she could ever remember despite her misery and the fire in her backside. “Please Sir,” she finally gasped. “I’m sorry.”

Ever the gentleman, Marcus started to wind down the punishment until he was just rubbing her blazing skin. “Very good,” he said kindly.

A few tears spilled over as she sighed with relief, squeezing Abby even tighter if possible. “I’m sorry,” she said again, this time to Abby directly. She felt Kane start to tug her panties back up and made a noise of protest – for more than one reason. “Please don’t,” she said haltingly, fingertips digging into Abby’s back.

Marcus’s eyebrows lifted. “You want me to leave your panties down?”

Diyoza looked helplessly up at Abby, begging her with just a look to come to her aid.

Abby’s groin twitched and she looked over at Marcus, eyes smoldering. “I think she wants you to take them off,” she almost growled. “Did I interpret that right, Colonel?”

Relieved that Abby had read her expression, she nodded. Now whether or not Kane would actually follow through was another thing altogether.

Marcus’s thoughts ran wild at that; he couldn’t help it. “What?” he asked dumbly, staring at his girl. He probably heard that wrong.

Abby tilted Diyoza’s head up and pressed their lips together, the kiss hungry but mild, and then turned to look at Marcus. “She wants you to take her panties off.”

Oh dear Lord. No hearing that wrong. His groin sprang to attention no matter how hard he fought it off. “And you?” He swallowed hard. “Do you want me to take her panties off?”

“I want you to fuck her, Marcus.”

Kane and Diyoza both groaned at that, the sounds music to Abby’s ears. She reached over with one hand and expertly undid his fly.

“Do you want that, Colonel?” He had to ask, ever the diplomat even as his cock strained against his boxers.

Diyoza groaned again, lifting her hips. “Yes Sir.”

Abby tightened her grip on Diyoza’s hair again, this time purposely. “Crawl over here so he can get up,” she demanded.

Diyoza gasped and pushed up onto her hands and knees, crawling forward a few paces so she was over Abby’s lap instead. She moved to lower herself back to her stomach but Abby’s free hand came up to stop her.

“Stay on your hands and knees, honey.”

Right. Much easier angle for Kane, she realized, and nodded her acknowledgement as she stayed where she was.

Marcus stood and took off his pants, then tugged Diyoza’s pajamas and panties until he could get those all the way off as well. Standing behind her, he sincerely enjoyed the view of her bright red ass and her glistening cunt. He stepped forward and pressed himself against her, still straining against his boxers.

Diyoza shuddered, the contact painful but delicious and she wanted more. She wanted him inside her. If she was honest with herself, she’d wanted him inside her since that day they’d bonded back on Earth. But he was with Abby and she didn’t do homewrecking. Not that she thought he would go for it anyway, cheating on Abby, but even if he would have been willing, she never would have gone there. This, though… Abby had initiated this and it was okay to want it. “Please, Sir,” she found herself begging, head dropping down between her shoulders as she pressed herself harder against him. She wanted him out of his boxers. She wanted to see his cock, see him naked, and she wanted him to fuck her as hard as he’d spanked her.

“Marcus,” Abby said in an almost scolding tone, nodding at his boxers.

Marcus smirked at her but obliged, pulling his boxers down just enough to free himself and rub up and down the dripping wetness in front of him. And then without warning he slid all the way inside, knowing she could take it.

Diyoza didn’t consider herself particularly loud during sex but she cried out, the volume significant enough to bring Abby’s hand across her mouth. Grateful, she groaned against it and flicked the doctor’s palm with her tongue to show her appreciation. Jesus, he was big. And he went in fast. It was almost an overwhelming sensation, so good she paradoxically couldn’t stand it. A long, slow moan followed the groan when Kane started to move. She could feel every fucking inch of him dragging along her insides as he pulled out, then harsh friction as he thrust back in, making her lurch forward.

Diyoza somehow managed to maneuver two of Abby’s fingers into her mouth and the sensation was so subtly erotic that Abby was having trouble focusing on anything else.

Diyoza jerked forward with every thrust but she managed to keep Abby’s fingers in her mouth. She needed the anchor to ground her. This was surreal. She had never allowed herself to think this might happen, despite having wanted it for so long, and it was almost a dissociative experience because she wanted to commit every single microsecond to untouchable memory. She didn’t imagine this would happen again, so every frame was precious. She could physically feel what Kane was doing, but more than that, she could feel it emotionally, and it was something she never wanted to let go of. Not to mention how close she felt with Abby and what a gift that was, considering their history. She sucked on Abby’s fingers, trying to convey all of the emotions coursing through her, and she might have been crazy but she thought Abby understood.

Abby was intuitive by nature, which helped her as a doctor, not the other way around. She had always been that way. She could feel everything Diyoza wanted her to feel, and she leaned down to look the colonel in the eyes, sliding her fingers out of the other woman’s mouth but keeping a hand tethered to her cheek. “Are you okay, honey?” she whispered, stroking with her thumb.

Diyoza nodded, too overwhelmed to speak, but she was okay. Nothing she was feeling was negative, it was just powerful. A few tears spilled over and the way Abby tenderly wiped them away made her start to dwell on the past. But Kane seemed to sense that he was losing her attention and he leaned over to kiss his way along her spine while one of his hands slipped beneath her to stroke and rub her clit.

Satisfied that he had returned her to the moment and she was fully present again, Kane sped up his thrusts and the motion on her clit, bringing things quickly to a fever pitch, and her muscles clamped down tightly around him as she tensed and held, then released with a cry and collapsed over Abby’s lap. If he didn’t want to fall over he had to slide out of her, and he was still painfully erect. His hand went to finish himself off but it was batted away and Abby’s lips closed over his cock. It didn’t take much to bring him off, and he tore himself away at the last second, politely coming on the sheets instead of in her mouth.

“Marcus,” she almost laughed. “How many times do I have to tell you it’s okay?”

“At least one more,” he replied with an affectionate smile, slumping to lay behind her on the bed.

When Diyoza recovered her strength, she cleared her throat. “Sorry,” she said and made to push up, intending to leave, but Abby’s arms encircled her and dragged her down so they were all laying beside each other with Abby in the middle.

“I know you don’t think you’re going anywhere,” the doctor said, her tone of voice equivalent to a raised eyebrow.

“What?” Diyoza asked, once again finding herself surprised. Of course she thought she was going somewhere. She wasn’t an idiot, she knew that sex was just sex.

“And what the fuck are you apologizing for?” Abby added, running her fingers through the colonel’s sweaty hair. “Also, this is your room.”

“Right, well you—you can leave whenever you want. Don’t think you have to stay just because—”

Abby put a finger across her lips to shush her. “Honey, stop,” she said gently but firmly. “We’re right where we want to be. Marcus would tell you the same thing if he wasn’t already snoring behind me.”

“I really don’t understand you,” Diyoza whispered. “After everything…” She shook her head, ducking it to get away from Abby’s penetrating gaze.

“I guess you’ve grown on me,” Abby said with a lopsided grin. “Now get some sleep. Tomorrow’s a big day.”

She had managed not to think about it while they were busy, but now the fear and anxiety came flooding back. “Why is Clarke doing the surgery and not you?”

“Because Clarke knows how to use the instruments here and I don’t,” Abby reminded her. “You know that already. She’s going to be fine. The medical history of this planet is impeccable.”

“Then why did they all die?”

“Extinctive event. You know that already, too. Just breathe, honey.”

Somehow hearing Abby call her honey made everything seem just the tiniest bit easier; hopeful. “I trust you, I really do, I just can’t help my mind creating all these what-ifs.”

“I know. It’s hard. But I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”

For the hundredth time, Diyoza ran through everything she’d done to Abby, and the regret slithered up her spine to wrap around her throat and she felt like she couldn’t breathe. This woman, this amazing woman, so kind and generous and thoughtful, and instead of just asking for her help, they had enslaved her and encouraged her addiction just so she would need them to supply her pills and she would never try to escape. “You would have helped us, wouldn’t you? If we had just asked?” she choked out.

Abby blinked. “Why are you thinking about that? That’s in the past, we’ve come so far from that.”

That was as good as a yes, but without saying yes to make her feel more guilty, Diyoza knew. “I’m so, so sorry,” she breathed. “Not a day goes by that I don’t regret what we did… the pills… forcing you to—”

“Stop,” Abby said for the second time that evening. “You’re spiraling, Colonel, and you need to stop. I know you’re sorry. I wouldn’t be here with you right now if I didn’t know that. You need to let it go, please, Char.”

Diyoza allowed the nickname just this once, but that was easier said than done. “I’ll try,” she promised quietly. “No guarantees.”

“That’s all I could ask for,” Abby replied, reaching out to slide a hand behind her neck and pull her into a soft, sweet kiss.


	2. Chapter 2

Diyoza was a wreck the next morning as everyone was getting ready for Hope’s surgery. She had tossed and turned all night until finally Abby had slipped a hand between her thighs and soothed her to sleep, then held her all night long. Now she was pacing outside the OR after eating a breakfast she didn’t want to eat. Kane and Abby were still in the cafeteria, Clarke and Niylah were scrubbing in, and Raven was already scrubbed in, scrutinizing her work with an almost mechanical eye before she would allow it to be put into the baby.

The colonel looked up when she heard footsteps approaching, glad to see it was Abby. She wasn’t sure where they stood in public so she kept her distance, but when she turned away to keep pacing she felt gentle arms surround her, hands on her belly pulling her in close. “Aren’t you afraid someone will see?” she whispered even as her eyes closed in gratitude for the comfort.

“Let them see,” Abby whispered back. “Marcus wanted to be here but he had to go out on another supply run because they couldn’t haul everything yesterday, which is good news I guess. Thank you for eating breakfast. I know you didn’t want to.”

“I learned my lesson yesterday,” Diyoza said quietly, leaning back into the embrace.

“Were the spankings too hard?” Abby teased lightly.

“No, I think I liked the spankings,” Diyoza said with a flush. “It just didn’t feel as good to disrespect you as I thought it would.”

“You thought it would feel good to disrespect me?” Abby asked, raising an eyebrow.

“We should probably call this off. Right? Don’t you think so? I mean she can live with one lung. Plenty of people have done it.”

Abby had been expecting this or something like it and was prepared with an answer, resting her chin on Diyoza’s shoulder. “Honey, the atmosphere here is a little harsher than Earth. She needs two lungs if she ever wants to be able to go outside.”

“What’s so great about going outside?” Diyoza grumbled, though her argument lacked enthusiasm.

“Maybe I’ll take you outside later and show you,” Abby said suggestively.

Diyoza blushed, not sure she would ever get used to hearing things like that from Abby. “Why haven’t you been trained on the instruments?” she asked instead of letting her mind wander into the gutter.

Abby sighed. “Knowledge is power. Clarke doesn’t trust me enough to give up any of that. Someday I’ll tell you about our history on the Ark. She has a good reason to want to keep the power she has. I don’t blame her for it. I do wish she would trust me at least a little, though. We’ll never go back to the way it was before. None of us want that, and we’ve all changed too much for that to happen anyway.”

“I’d like to hear it someday,” Diyoza nodded. “Maybe you can figure out how to use everything from just watching Clarke do it,” she suggested suddenly.

Abby shook her head with another sigh. “They’re not going to let us watch. They’ll close the curtains. Having an audience is too nerve wracking and you want them to be as focused as possible.”

“Fuck. I don’t think I can do this,” Diyoza huffed out alongside an angry breath.

“Diy—” Abby stopped talking when she saw Clarke and Niylah approaching Hope. They were about to start.

“Diy?” the colonel raised an eyebrow. “First honey and now Diy?”

Abby chuckled and shook her head. “I wasn’t finished.” She needed to distract Diyoza so she didn’t try to interfere with the surgery. “But since it came out that way, do you like it? You hate when I call you Charmaine…” She laughed at the look on Diyoza’s face. “Case in point. And I need something besides honey as a nickname.”

“I don’t mind—“ Diyoza cleared her throat and tried again, her voice a little too sappy for her liking. “I don’t mind that much when you call me Char.”

Abby considered this a great victory and turned her head slightly so she could kiss Diyoza’s cheek.

“What the actual fuck?” they both heard from behind them.

Diyoza groaned and turned to face Octavia. “Aren’t you still on suicide watch?”

“What’s the matter, thought I’d done it already?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. We both know you’re as much of a suicide risk as your brother is. How’d you shake your escort?”

Octavia growled. “I didn’t.”

Jackson peeked out from behind one of the pillars down the hall and gave them a sheepish wave.

“Please tell me Kane knows about this because he’s the one person on this fucked up planet I actually don’t want to be miserable.”

“Don’t you mean the one fucked up person on this beautiful planet?” Diyoza asked just as Abby said “he knows.”

Octavia gave a terse nod at that, keeping her relief on the inside.

“Jackson, you really shouldn’t be more than three feet away from someone on suicide watch,” Abby called down the corridor.

“When I get that close she assaults me,” Jackson explained. He knew the protocol, but he also knew he wanted to keep his balls. Miller might have an objection to the loss of them as well.

“Because I don’t need an escort,” Octavia said resolutely. “You realize my brother is manipulating you just to keep an eye on me, right? I never threatened to kill myself.”

“I like my job.”

“So you don’t question the bully. Got it,” Octavia said with a roll of her eyes. She turned back to Abby and Diyoza, still finding it weird that they were all huggy, but at least she could maybe get some information out of them that no one else either knew or would give her. She wasn’t sure which. “How is Kane, anyway? I mean not that I care that much since he hates me, but—”

“He knows it was me,” Abby blurted out, unable to hold it in any longer.

Octavia’s face darkened like a storm cloud and she took a step closer to Abby, pointing a finger at her. “Shut up.”

Diyoza had no idea what they were talking about and slid out of Abby’s hold in an attempt to give her some sliver of privacy, even if she only moved a few feet away.

“I told him but he already knew,” Abby continued.

“I said shut up,” Octavia repeated, her voice starting to rise in pitch and volume.

“He doesn’t hate you.”

Octavia let out a scream of rage and took a swing at Abby, which the doctor tried to dodge and almost succeeded, Octavia’s fist barely connecting with the side of her head.

It hurt, but it was bearable. She saw Jackson take out a syringe and held a hand up toward him. “Don’t you dare,” she warned, moving between him and Octavia, who was poised to strike again.

“I’m sorry Abby, I have to,” Jackson said apologetically.

“If you touch her, you’re next,” Diyoza spoke up, stepping over beside Abby, between Jackson and Octavia. She didn’t know what exactly was going on but she knew she was on Abby’s side of it.

“Just let him do it,” Octavia snarled. “It’s better than listening to your pathetic bullshit.”

“I’m going to have to report this,” Jackson said, his face twisted with regret.

“Run along to Bellamy and suck his dick like a good little soldier,” Octavia said with a snort of laughter.

“That’s not—” Jackson started to say but decided it was pointless. “Please get out of the way,” he then addressed Abby and Diyoza.

Octavia shoved Abby hard out of the way and held out her arm to Jackson. He injected her before anyone could do anything further to prevent it, then caught her when she slumped toward him unconscious.

“I’m sorry, Abby,” Jackson said again. “If I had a choice I—”

“There’s always a choice, but you do what you need to do,” Abby said dismissively, turning away from him and taking Diyoza’s hand, tugging her in the direction of the main doors. She needed some fresh air.

Diyoza followed, wanting an explanation badly enough to justify stepping away from the OR area for a few minutes. She barely waited until they were out the doors to ask, “what the hell was that?”

“You’re gonna want to sit down for this one,” Abby said with a sigh, gesturing toward one of the benches that flanked the main walkway of the courtyard.

They sat next to each other and Abby told her the story from the beginning, about the bunker and how it was decent enough at first, but then all the problems that started cropping up, then the dark year and especially hers, Octavia’s and Marcus’s roles in it. When she finished, Diyoza was staring at her with her mouth slightly open.

“Jesus,” the colonel said, her chest constricting and making it hard to breathe. “And I took you directly from that and tossed you right into the flames of hell. How can you even stand to be near me?”

“And how do you take a story like that and make it all your fault?” Abby asked, one eyebrow lifting as she leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on Diyoza’s cheek. “Did you hear a word I said?”

Diyoza sniffed back tears and let out a tiny little snort at Abby’s questions. “I don’t know. I mean the first question, I don’t know. The second question, of course. I heard everything you said.”

“What’s it going to take for you to move past what you did? I know you’re sorry, Char, and I’ve already forgiven you a hundred times. We do what we think we have to do in order to survive. I’ve done some unspeakable things myself in the name of survival. I understand why you did what you did.”

“What do you regret most?” Diyoza asked, leaning toward Abby and resting her head on the doctor’s shoulder. “Of all the unspeakable things you say you’ve done. Which was the worst?”

“I’m afraid if I tell you that… what we have together will be gone.”

“You think you’ve done something so bad that I of all people will walk away from you?” Diyoza asked, genuinely surprised.

“Yes,” Abby confessed. “I think anyone would.”

“I think you underestimate the way I—I mean you underestimate my—my resolve,” Diyoza stumbled, turning bright red. “If you want me to get over the past, you have to tell me this horrible secret.”

“That’s extremely underhanded and unfair,” Abby said, wondering if Diyoza had been about to use the word ‘feel’.

“Maybe you should spank me for that,” the colonel suggested with a shrug. “But you still have to tell me.”

“I will spank you for that,” Abby agreed with a nod, then took a shuddering breath and tried to decide if she had the courage to confess everything about Luna.

\--

“You should have let Abby train on the instruments,” Raven said as she watched Clarke get ready to make the first incision. “Your ego is unattractive, and if you fuck this up you’d better make damn sure that everyone knows it wasn’t a faulty product.”

“It’s not ego, Raven,” Clarke said, unaffected by the outburst. They had gone toe to toe over the issue many times before, and Raven had never been one to mince words. Clarke actually would have been offended if her friend ever tried to sugarcoat anything. “Or maybe you forgot what life was like on the ark?”

“The more trained medical professionals, the better,” Raven argued. “Especially one who’s already a doctor. You’re being short sighted. You’re not perfect. There should be two surgeons in here and you know it.”

“Niylah has been—”

“Don’t bring me into this,” Niylah interrupted, shaking her head. “I’m an assistant, not a surgeon. I don’t want to be a surgeon.”

Clarke made a face at that. She was used to Raven arguing with her, but not so much Niylah. “You’d be a good surgeon,” she said quietly, then gathered all of her focus and tuned everything else out as she picked up the scalpel and began the procedure.

\--

Abby couldn’t look at Diyoza through any of the story about Luna and the bone marrow and the fact that she had eradicated the pacifist’s belief in humanity to the point that Luna fought for the death of the species in the conclave. When she finished, she stared at her hands, tears shining in her eyes, expecting the worst. She hadn’t actually ever gone over what had happened out loud before, and it should have felt freeing, but all she felt was dread. She tried to prepare for Diyoza’s absence but the thought made her sick to her stomach.

Diyoza put a hand on Abby’s knee as she rolled off the bench and squatted in front of her so she could look up into haunted eyes. “You did what you had to do,” she whispered. “Just like you said, we all do what we have to do to survive. We hate ourselves for it, but we can’t go back and change it because at the time, we did the best we could with the information we had. Fear is a strikingly powerful motivator, you know this, Abby. I’m not going anywhere.”

Tears spilled over as Abby finally allowed herself to look at Diyoza. Words failed her and she wrapped her hands in the colonel’s hair, pulling her into a fierce, needy kiss.

“What the fuck?”

Great. Now it was Murphy catching them. Diyoza stood up and pulled Abby with her, flashing John a devious smile as she headed back toward the main doors of the complex, a chuckling Abby following behind. “Everyone will know by lunch,” she whispered as she put her hand on the ID pad and the doors slid open.

“By lunch? You’re giving him a few hours too long,” Abby snorted.

“Probably true,” Diyoza agreed. As they entered the building, her anxiety came back in a crippling wave and she clutched Abby’s hand tighter. “Do you think they’re done? How long does something like this take? She’s okay, right?”

“Let’s just sit outside the OR and wait,” Abby said soothingly. “I’m sure everything’s fine.”

\--

Raven breathed a sigh of relief as Clarke finished tying off the last stitch. Maybe she had overreacted earlier, because the medical advancements this planet held were remarkable, but still, she thought that having more than one surgeon for a population would be common sense. She trusted Abby with her life and she hated that Clarke didn’t.

Clarke let out her own sigh of relief when everything was said and done. She had confidence in herself, but it was easier to breathe now that it was over and Hope had two fully-functioning lungs. There would be recovery time, but far less than would have been necessary on Earth. Probably within an hour or two the baby could come off the ventilator and breathe on her own. The stitches would dissolve a few hours after that. Barring any unforeseen complications, they could lift the quarantine by the end of the day.

She took off her gloves and threw them in the biohazard bin, then washed her hands before exiting the OR and making her way around to where she was sure Diyoza would be waiting. She wasn’t entirely surprised to see her mom there too, but she was surprised to see them sitting so close.

Diyoza shot to her feet the instant she saw Clarke, questions spilling from her lips without a filter. “Is she alive? Are you done? Is she okay? Did it work?”

Clarke held up a hand to forestall any more of the rapid fire, and when the colonel quieted, she spoke efficiently. “The procedure is finished, yes. It was successful. We’ll open the curtains in a minute so you can see her, and if everything continues to progress on schedule you should be able to hold her by tonight.”

Diyoza put her hands over her mouth, grateful tears clouding her eyes as she stood in shock that it was finally over. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Clarke didn’t want thanks, and she didn’t want to speak to her mother either, so she just gave a terse nod and disappeared back through the door she’d come out of, which automatically locked behind her.

Diyoza couldn’t remember ever being so relieved about anything in her life. It was a thousand pounds lifted off her shoulders and she turned to grab Abby in a crushing hug. “I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“Probably get yourself in more trouble somehow,” Abby whispered, squeezing her back just as tight. For all her bravado, she hadn’t actually been sure how well the procedure would go, and her relief was almost as great as her lover’s. She did wish Clarke hadn’t run off, but her daughter was no doubt still hurt or at least still offended by her accusation, even though it had been quite a while ago. Being accused of taking away someone’s baby out of spite was kind of a hard pill to swallow if the accusation wasn’t true.

Diyoza went to the glass when she noticed the curtains moving, and planned to stare at her daughter for as long as they would let her.

\--

Octavia woke to find herself in restraints. Again. How many times was that this week? She’d lost count. A glance at the clock told her she’d missed lunch, and dinner. Hmm. Jackson must have upped the dosage. Probably so he could go fuck his boyfriend without having to worry about her waking up for hours. Nice.

The restraints were easy for her to get out of, she’d just never had a reason to before. Now, though, she couldn’t get Abby’s words out of her head and she wanted to see Kane, even if he didn’t know she was there. She just wanted to see him, to make sure for herself that he was really okay. That Abby wasn’t lying about him knowing the thing with Diyoza. That his injuries were really healed, because she hadn’t laid eyes on him since they’d left Earth. Once they came out of stasis, Bellamy had her thrown in a cell until he figured out what to do with her, and after that she wasn’t allowed out very often. He said it was for her own good and put her on suicide watch, but it was just him being a controlling asshole. Or maybe he was just afraid of her. That gave her a little amused thrill, actually.

She tugged one wrist out of the leather binding and from there she just unbuckled the rest, rolling her wrists and ankles to get out some of the soreness before she climbed up on the headboard of the bed and moved a ceiling tile out of the way, lifting herself up into the ventilation shaft. She replaced the tile so they wouldn’t know which way she went, then crawled as quietly as she could toward the residential quarter.

She went the wrong way a few times – being above everything sort of screwed with her sense of direction – but she finally recognized residential rooms when she glanced through the slats in the tiles. She had no idea which one would be Kane’s, so she’d have to wait until they were populated to find out.

She was about to hunker down and relax for a bit when she heard his voice off to the left.

\--

“Did you miss me?”

Diyoza couldn’t answer with her mouth around his cock, but Abby moved behind him, dropping kisses along his neck. “We did,” she purred. “Very much. Did you miss us?”

One of his hands snaked behind him to hold Abby against his back while the other tangled in Diyoza’s hair, gentle and encouraging. “Of course I did. I scarcely thought of anything else. Was she good at dinner?”

Good at dinner? Octavia thought, crawling carefully toward their voices. What the hell does that mean?

“She was a little angel,” Abby replied, hands roaming the expanse of Marcus’s chest. “She ate every bite without any kind of fuss.”

Octavia sincerely hoped the conversation would steer away from food. It was a huge issue for her still. It probably always would be. She ate, but talking about food was just a trigger.

“Good girl,” Marcus praised her, squeezing her hair to let her know he was proud.

She would have said thank you but her mouth was full, so instead she showed her appreciation by forcing him in deeper and offering a quiet moan.

Raising an eyebrow, Octavia could tell she was close, and she peered through every slatted tile as she crawled. When she finally saw him, her eyes were drawn to his neck, and she breathed a little easier to see everything had healed into scars. He was okay. He was—when her eyes roamed downward she let out a gasp, then clamped a hand over her mouth and went stock still, hoping they hadn’t heard.

“What was that?” Abby asked in alarm, eyes scanning the room for signs of a potential threat.

“Someone’s in the vents,” Marcus said calmly, nodding toward the space the sound had come from.

Abby sprang into action and before Octavia had time to crawl away, the ceiling tile was hauled out from under her and she fell through, just managing to grab hold of the rafter to avoid crashing to the floor below. Once she was safely hanging she let go and dropped down, landing on her feet, and made an immediate move toward the door, shielding her eyes from the scene that had somehow not stopped even with her intrusion. Diyoza was still sucking Kane’s cock like she wasn’t even there, and Kane… well, he was looking at her with the strangest expression. She couldn’t read it at all. And to make things worse, she bumped into Abby because she wasn’t looking where she was going. Abby, who was only wearing a bra and underwear.

“Octavia, why were you in our vent?” Abby asked, folding her arms across her chest.

“Evading my escort, but do you really think now’s a good time to chat?” Octavia asked incredulously.

“One push of a button and security floods this room,” Abby told her.

Octavia scowled. “Fine. I wanted to—” She glanced at Kane’s neck, then back to Abby.

Abby’s expression softened. “You wanted to make sure he really was okay,” she said quietly.

“And he is, and now I’m leaving,” Octavia confirmed, trying to get around Abby and reach the door.

“Octavia,” Abby said thoughtfully, a few pieces falling into place. “I’m already sharing him with one other woman… what’s the difference if I share him with two?”

“Are you fucking crazy?” Octavia hissed. “The last thing I want is to—” She made the mistake of glancing over just as Diyoza’s mouth fell away from his cock, and her eyes were glued to it, her breath hitching despite herself. She forcibly shook her head and turned to glare at Abby. “I’m not a fucking sex toy. Either report me or get the fuck out of my way.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Abby said with a frown, finally moving out of the girl’s way and watching as Octavia fairly stormed out the door.

“What did you say to her?” Diyoza asked, wiping her mouth with her sleeve.

“Tell you later,” Abby said with a blush.

Marcus raised an eyebrow but didn’t press her for details, mostly because the shower was calling to him, but also because if she wanted to tell him, she’d tell him. He didn’t feel like he was entitled to anything; none of them would disrespect each other like that. He replaced the ceiling tile and kissed both ladies, then retreated to the bathroom and got into the shower.

“Well?” Diyoza asked once he was out of the room.

“I stupidly thought she might want to… I’ve always thought there was something unspoken between her and Marcus, and I thought it might help her reconnect with him if they…”

Diyoza choked out a laugh. “You offered him up on a platter?”

“She did not appreciate the offer.”

“Clearly.”

Abby was about to say something else when the comm unit by the door crackled to life and Raven’s voice filtered through it.

“Hope is cleared for visitation.”


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as Octavia was out of the room and the door slid closed, she climbed back up into the vents and secured the ceiling tile again so nothing looked different. She was breathing hard, but not from exertion. She was pissed. How dare Abby suggest she—and just offer Kane up like—assume she wanted to—fucking entitled asshole! She groaned quietly and slid to lay down, throwing an arm over her eyes and trying to relax.

\--

“She’s so beautiful,” Abby whispered, her chest constricted with emotion for her lover as she watched Diyoza holding Hope for essentially the first time. She had only gotten a few seconds when the baby was born, and she was doped up pretty good so she probably barely remembered it.

Diyoza flashed a beaming smile at Abby before looking back down at Hope, who was currently making some kind of gurgling noise and then laughing about it. Easily amused, Diyoza thought, like all babies. Maybe she could be normal. A normal baby, normal kid, normal adult. Well not normal, because who wanted that, and that didn’t exist anyway, but… healthy. Well adjusted. Not a psychopath. That’s really all she wanted for her child. So far, gurgling and thinking it was the funniest thing in the world, that seemed like a good start.

After about a half hour or so, Raven came into the room, studiously ignoring Abby despite thinking she should be trained on the instruments. She trusted Abby with her life, yes, and she would fight for the doctor’s right to be a doctor, but personally, she was still heartbroken and trying to recover. Wouldn’t do to show that, though, so she just… ignored it. “Hey,” she addressed Diyoza directly. “Time for her breathing treatment.”

“You said it’s to strengthen the new lung?”

“Yep. Essentially we need to make sure both lungs are functioning at the same capacity before she can be discharged from constant medical monitoring. If one is more powerful than the other, we anticipate the atmosphere here would cause one to slowly shrink and the other to enlarge. Obviously we don’t want that.”

Diyoza nodded and kissed her baby’s forehead before carefully handing her over to Raven. “When can I come back?”

“First thing in the morning.”

“So—”

“No, that doesn’t mean 12:01,” Raven said with a smirk. “You can come back at six.”

Diyoza chuckled at her own sass and Raven’s easy deflection of it. “Thank you, Raven. I owe you everything.”

Raven’s smirk held and she added a wink. “Maybe just dinner sometime,” she suggested instead.

Diyoza’s face turned bright red and her jaw dropped a little as her eyes shot to Abby.

Raven caught on immediately and one corner of her mouth twitched in amusement. “All right, all right,” she said with a nod and a little snort of laughter that was half mirth and half derision. “Just watch out for collars. You already got a scar around your neck,” she then said pointedly, which was directed at Abby, not Diyoza, and they all knew it. “Now, ladies… get the fuck out,” she said with a goofy grin.

Still stunned at having been asked out by such a gorgeous young woman, Diyoza shuffled out of the makeshift hospital room with Abby right behind her. “Did that just happen?”

Abby was not amused by the collar comment. She had tried so hard to make amends with Raven and it was getting her nowhere. But with Raven holding the baby it was not the time to hash things out. So she kept quiet until they were out of the room with the door shut behind them, then moved against Diyoza’s back to whisper in her ear. “I think you need a spanking.”

Diyoza grunted her further surprise and turned her head to look over her shoulder at Abby. “What? Why?” Not that she objected, honestly, but it seemed to come out of nowhere.

“Because you didn’t decline her offer,” Abby murmured ominously.

“I didn’t have to; she withdrew it!” Diyoza protested.

“Call me jealous,” Abby purred, hands sliding around Diyoza’s waist to rest on her belly as they walked.

That certainly was unexpected, but somehow Diyoza absolutely loved it. “That kind of excites me,” she confessed, heading them toward Kane and Abby’s room. It was awkward to walk with Abby hanging on her, but again… loved it.

Marcus was almost asleep when they got back, but Abby’s words pulled him more toward consciousness.

“She needs a spanking, Marcus.”

“What?” he mumbled, slowly sitting up, scratching lightly at the scar on his neck that finally itched instead of hurt. “She ate dinner…”

“She did,” Abby agreed, marching Diyoza over to stand beside the bed. “But she was also just asked out to dinner and didn’t decline the invitation.”

“Well… we don’t own her, dear, she can go to dinner with whomever she pleases,” Kane pointed out.

“Apparently she’s the jealous type,” Diyoza stage whispered to him.

“I see,” Kane said thoughtfully, fingers going from his scar to stroke his beard. “Do you think you deserve a spanking?”

She fought the flush but lost that battle as she inclined her head slightly toward him. “Yes Sir.”

A devious glint took root in Abby’s eyes and she somehow managed to keep her voice neutral as she issued a command. “Call him Daddy.”

“What?”

“_What?!_”

The more emphatic of the two was from Marcus, but both heads snapped in her direction. She could either defend her command or pretend she was joking. “I said, call him Daddy,” she repeated, the neutrality fading from her voice with each word. And in case Diyoza thought of refusing, a hand curled in the colonel’s hair and squeezed just the way she’d discovered her lover liked it.

A soft moan escaped but Diyoza wasn’t sure she could obey that directive. Not without dying of insecurity, anyway. “I d—I c—what if he doesn’t—”

Marcus was over his hesitation and interrupted her smoothly. “He does.” He would not have thought of it himself but since his more sexually liberated girlfriend had, who was he to refuse such a thing before even giving it a try?

Diyoza’s heart was trying to beat out of her chest, her pulse so strong it was thrumming in her ears, her panties drenched just at the perverse thought of saying it. But why should it be perverse? If Abby wasn’t ashamed of the idea, why should she be? “D—” she choked on the word, having trouble swallowing past a suddenly dry throat.

“Let’s try the question again and see if that makes it easier,” Kane said patiently. “Do you think you deserve a spanking?”

Diyoza closed her eyes and breathed, “Yes, Daddy.”

Abby bit her lip, squirming at the flood of arousal twisting her belly, her eyelids fluttering. Jesus Christ, that was powerful. Hearing the strong, confident solider say those two words so hesitantly, so quietly, but saying them. Saying them because Abby told her to say them. It was powerful.

“And what did you do to deserve this proposed spanking?” Kane asked, carefully keeping his reactions under control. Except the one he couldn’t hide, obviously.

Diyoza flushed with shame for so many reasons, dropping her chin to her chest. “I didn’t say no when Raven asked me to dinner,” she said softly.

“It was Raven?” Kane asked, breaking character due to his surprise, but then shaking his head at himself and tucking those questions away for later. “What sort of a spanking do you think you deserve for that?” he asked instead.

Diyoza still stared at the floor, her cheeks on fire. “I don’t know, Daddy…”

Abby was going to come in her pants, she just knew she wouldn’t be able to hold out long. So why not help herself out? She slid away from Diyoza a few feet to sink down into her recliner, one hand teasing her thigh as she watched the scene she’d created start to play out.

Diyoza didn’t like Abby’s sudden absence, but by the look on Kane’s face she was doing something else outrageous. She turned her head and her eyes zeroed in on her lover’s hand. Abby was going to fuck herself while she got spanked. Could the woman be any hotter?

“Eyes over here, young lady,” Kane said sharply, and the tone of his voice made Diyoza shiver.

She turned back to face him, eyes now dropping to where he strained against his boxers. “I’m sorry, Daddy…”

“You should be,” he said, his tone further clipped. “I don’t want to punish you, but you know I have to, right?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“There’s a good girl. Get yourself ready,” Kane said gently. He couldn’t quite refer to himself as Daddy, but hearing it from Diyoza was something else altogether.

Trembling fingers undid her pants and she pushed them down around her knees, along with her underwear, then bent over his lap and hid her face in the mattress. No Abby to snuggle up to this time. But this time was entirely different.

Abby slid her hand in her pants and lazily stroked her clit, in no hurry to get anywhere.

Diyoza chanced another look at Abby and groaned at the sight, then yelped when she got a rather harsh first swat.

“What did I tell you?” Kane’s voice was no longer gentle.

“I’m sorry,” Diyoza said breathlessly, turning her face back to the mattress. “She’s just irresistible.”

“This I am aware of,” Kane said, almost allowing a smirk. “But you need to be a good girl or I’ll have to get a belt.”

Diyoza shivered at the prospect, actually nervous about how that would feel. She didn’t intend to find out. “Daddy, I’m sorry,” she whispered tremulously. It was so incredibly fucking strange to call him that, but leave it to Abby to find some taboo thing that they shouldn’t enjoy as much as they did. Well, if Abby’s masturbating and Kane’s dick pressing up into her stomach were anything to go by, at least.

“Hm,” Kane hummed, clearly not ready to accept the apology unless she backed it up with good behavior. He let his hand fall again, and again, and again, the sound echoing through the room and the impact echoing through his palm.

\--

Octavia jerked awake to the sound of flesh hitting flesh and she almost bolted upright, then remembered where she was and forced herself to lie still. There wasn’t exactly room to sit up without hitting her head. Good thing she had quick reflexes and self-control. She rolled onto her stomach and crept silently back toward the source of the sound, which was coming from Kane and Abby’s room. Seriously, were they the only ones on the planet getting laid? Why was no one else doing anything that made any noise? She would have been able to hear it from her position.

The smacking sounds amplified as she moved, and when she reached her destination and peered through one of the slatted tiles her eyes nearly popped out of her head.

“Daddy, please! I’m sorry!” Diyoza had tears in her eyes by now and had fistfuls of the sheets.

_Daddy?_ Jesus Christ. Octavia barely even dared to breathe. She was not about to get discovered this time and invited to join in their orgy. Actually, she didn’t see Abby. Was this what they did when Abby wasn’t around? Or was she just not in the viewing trajectory of this vent? Either way she closed her eyes. She wasn’t going to watch that. Why had she crawled over here again? Oh, right. Insatiable curiosity.

“What do you think, love?” Marcus asked Abby, who was still casually fingering herself in the recliner.

Abby pulled her hand out of her pants and stood, walking slowly over to the bed and crouching down by Diyoza’s head. She stroked away a tear and then wound her hand tightly in the colonel’s hair, forcing Diyoza to look at her. “Do you want to have dinner with Raven?”

Diyoza tried to bury her head in Abby’s shoulder but the doctor had a strong grip. “No,” she promised, and it was the truth. Sure, it was flattering to have a twenty something year old ask her out, but did she want anyone besides Kane and Abby? No, she didn’t. “I would have said no if she hadn’t already taken it back. I don’t want anyone else,” she added quietly.

Octavia kept her eyes shut. She was actually kind of glad Abby was there, because—wait, Raven had asked Diyoza out? Holy fuck. This spying thing was providing all kinds of delicious blackmail material. She could see why Echo was into it.

“That’s a very good answer, but is it true?” Abby asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes,” Diyoza whispered, looking her in the eye. “Let me show you. You didn’t finish, right?” She shot a glance down to the doctor’s open pants.

Abby’s eyelids fluttered and she relaxed her grip, combing her fingers through Diyoza’s hair instead. “Ask your daddy.”

Stomach clenching, her backside on fire once again, and her panties seeming to be perpetually soaked even when they were down around her knees, Diyoza turned her head to look over her shoulder at Kane. “Daddy, please? I want her.” Her voice was low and held many promises.

“Then you should have her. You’ve been a good girl for me,” Kane said with a grin, patting her butt and letting her off his lap.

She rose up onto her knees and kissed him. “Thank you, Daddy,” she purred, the word coming more easily now that she’d said it so many times, and then she surprised them both by hauling Abby up onto the bed and pinning her down, settling a knee between the doctor’s legs. “I would like your pants off,” she murmured into Abby’s ear, trailing her tongue around the shell, “because I want my tongue in your cunt…”

Abby groaned and arched into Diyoza’s knee, seeking friction. “Don’t let me stop you.”

“Have you ever had a woman eat your pussy?” Diyoza asked as she slid down the bed and started tugging off Abby’s pants and underwear.

“That’s classified,” Abby replied with a half smirk.

Octavia bet that Raven had done it, probably when they were together up on the ark or maybe when they were bonding over Mount Weather. She almost snorted but smothered the urge.

“Normally I’d take that as a yes, but with you I’ll just have to wonder,” Diyoza murmured, finally getting Abby’s pants and panties off, tossing them carelessly to the floor. She nudged the doctor’s knees apart and lay between her legs, dropping her head to lick her way from the inside of one knee up to one hip, biting down gently. “Your skin is so soft, even after everything you’ve been through…”

Abby was glad to be found appealing, though with the way Diyoza had been looking at her for the past few minutes, she hadn’t been that worried. “I’m glad you approve,” she said indulgently.

“I do, very much,” Diyoza agreed. She made her way back up to whisper in Abby’s ear, the words for the two of them alone, for the moment. “How long do you think Octavia is going to stay in the vent watching?”

Only years of medical training regarding focus kept Abby from shooting her eyes all around in search of their visitor. She closed them instead as if Diyoza had said something lewd. “She probably thinks we’ll only know she’s there if she moves, but she forgets your military training,” she whispered back.

“Well this isn’t for her, this is for you,” Diyoza said a bit sentimentally. “I want you to know that. I’ve wanted you for a long time, and this is not a performance.”

Abby’s eyes welled with tears at the unexpected sweetness and she reached a hand up to stroke Diyoza’s cheek. “I’ve wanted you, too. I just wouldn’t let myself admit it. It’s kind of Stockholmy, but I used to fantasize that you’d come in while I was working on the cure, bend me over the exam table and find some type of instrument to fuck me with.”

Octavia bit her hand to keep quiet on that one while Diyoza literally choked.

Marcus had been watching intently and now a smirk parted his lips. “She actually confessed that one to me this morning at breakfast,” he said, mirth shining in his eyes. “After you left to wait for the procedure, before she joined you. I choked too.”

“I almost had to do the Heimlich,” Abby grinned as Diyoza tried to compose herself and breathe normally again. “Luckily it was scrambled egg and he was able to cough it back up. Meat wouldn’t have been so pliable.”

“That’s a really naughty fantasy,” Diyoza said once she stopped struggling for a full breath. “If I didn’t want to taste you so bad, I might insist we act it out immediately. The smaller bureau could double as an exam table, don’t you think? Maybe tomorrow.”

“Maybe when you get home from the hydrofarm I’ll pretend to be working on something…”

Diyoza’s breath caught and she pinned Abby’s wrists beside her head, exhaling slowly before asking, “home?”

“I—” Abby didn’t know what to say, a flush creeping over her face and down her neck. “I meant—I—”

“I believe what she means is that if you wanted to call our room your second home, we would welcome it,” Marcus stepped in, saving the day with diplomacy as always. “Or your first.”

Ironically, now Octavia felt like she was intruding on a private moment.

Diyoza’s heart started hammering even faster, the walls threatening to close in on her. Never would she have imagined an offer like that; that someone, anyone would want her like that, but especially these two amazing people. It was almost too much to take in and her breath shuddered out of her lungs, leaving her feeling small and vulnerable, yet somehow not in a bad way. She slid off of Abby to curl up beside her instead, hiding her face in her lover’s neck. She had no words to give at the moment, but she didn’t want them to think she was rejecting the idea so she managed a nod.

Abby breathed a sigh of relief and slid her arms around Diyoza, holding her close. “I didn’t mean to make it weird,” she whispered as Marcus joined them to make a Diyoza sandwich.

“Everything is weird,” Marcus reassured her. “I think caring for each other is less weird than most things.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: This chapter contains reference to self-harm/cutting.

A loud knock about a half hour later jarred the trio from their mostly sleeping states, and without waiting for an answer the door slid open and Bellamy stepped inside. “Have you seen Octavia?” he demanded. Then he realized what he was looking at and his eyes widened slightly. “What the fuck?”

“I guess Murphy’s slacking,” Diyoza muttered.

Abby pulled the sheet up to cover them and shook her head. “Sorry, Bellamy, I haven’t. Is something going on or did she just slip your supervision?”

Bellamy didn’t like the question but he took a breath and nodded in acknowledgement that she hadn’t seen his sister. “What about you two?”

“I doubt Octavia would come seeking my company,” Kane offered by way of a negative and Diyoza just shook her head.

Bellamy grunted and stepped back out, the door sliding shut behind him.

“When did he become such an asshole?” Abby wondered aloud.

“Probably when his sister went to war with me, which made him have to go to war with me, and they lost,” Diyoza shrugged.

“That should just make him an asshole to you and Octavia, not to everyone else,” Abby snorted.

“It was actually when he and Clarke declared themselves in charge,” Marcus spoke up a second later. “Power will do that to a man if he’s not careful.”

\--

As soon as Diyoza had started to fall asleep, Octavia had carefully crawled away from the residential sector. She wasn’t sure where she was at the moment but it was quiet and peaceful and she could just lay there and not have to worry about anything.

Of course having nothing to worry about meant her thoughts weren’t occupied, and they drifted to Kane’s cock, to Diyoza sucking it, to Abby’s fantasy, to Raven asking Diyoza out, to—they stopped there. Raven asking Diyoza out. Raven. The only one of them all who hadn’t been dragged down to the depths of depravity in the name of survival. Horrible, unforgivable things had been done to her and yet she had never turned that into hate. She supposed Raven had actually lost more than any of them; suffered more than any of them.

Speaking of Raven, she heard a door slide open in whatever room was underneath her and when she peered through the slats she saw the mechanic haul a box of tools inside. The door whooshed shut and Raven kicked over the box with her good leg, spilling the tools out onto the floor. Octavia watched her rummage through them and pick up a wrench. She wasn’t sure what exactly the mechanic was doing with the wrench, but when she was finished, the light on the control panel next to the door turned red. Was that her way of locking the door?

She watched Raven toss the wrench back into the scattered mess of tools, then sit on the floor against the wall with her knees drawn up to her chest. She couldn’t see whatever Raven pulled out of her pocket, but when the mechanic rolled up her sleeve, Octavia’s eyes widened. Her forearm was covered in cuts and scars, depending on how long they had been healing. One looked much more fresh than the rest and as much as she tried to make herself crawl away and forget this, she couldn’t. It would be so easy to ignore it, pretend she’d never seen it. But Raven was _good_… and she never asked for anything from anyone. She bore the brunt of everything with strength and grace, at least on the surface, and Octavia couldn’t let her feel so alone. “Raven,” she whispered, hoping that revealing herself quietly would keep the mechanic from screaming in shock and alerting other people.

Raven’s head shot up and she swiped furiously at the tears trailing down her cheeks, getting to her feet immediately and jerking her sleeve back down, at the same time shoving the knife back into her jacket pocket. “Octavia?” she asked, pretty sure that’s who’s voice she had just heard.

So far so good. Octavia slid a ceiling tile out of the way and swung down into the room as silently as she could.

Raven stared at her, forgetting to be angry for a second. “What are you doing in the vents? What if someone turned on a heater?”

“Come on, it’s 80 degrees outside,” Octavia deflected.

“Bellamy’s looking for you,” Raven said then, not sure why Octavia was lurking around spying on her and seeing things she shouldn’t have.

“Are you going to yell for help?”

“Do I need help?”

Octavia tilted her head to the side and regarded Raven for a moment, intrigued by the response. “Probably not.”

“Then I guess I’m probably not gonna yell for help. What are you doing, though?”

“I think that what you’re doing is a little more important at the moment,” Octavia said, intending to sound judgmental but ending up sounding like a friend instead. Fucking Raven. Why couldn’t she be an asshole to Raven?

Raven went on the defensive in an instant. “Is that _Blodreina_ talking, or maybe _Skairipa_? _Osleya_? The girl under the floor? Who are you anymore?”

Octavia’s eyes narrowed. “On second thought, maybe you should call for help.”

Raven sighed and slid into one of the chairs at the long conference table in the middle of the room. “I came in here for privacy.”

“Obviously.”

“Just go back out the way you came and I won’t tell Bellamy.”

Octavia’s conscience flared and she sat with a sigh of her own. “Raven…”

“No no, I don’t want to talk about it,” Raven said finitely.

“We all deal with things in our own way. I’m trying so hard to judge you but I can’t.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

She should change the subject. “Did you know Diyoza calls Kane daddy?”

Raven snorted so hard she choked, and for a moment it felt like they were two ridiculous kids gossiping about the grownups, before all the horrible things that had happened since they hit the ground. She was grateful for that even though it was only a moment. “I can’t say I knew that, no,” she finally replied.

“That one had to be Abby’s idea, don’t you think?”

The subject of Abby just clawed at too-fresh wounds and the light heartedness Raven felt faded away. “Sure. Yeah.”

“I also found out you asked Diyoza out,” Octavia ventured after a brief, awkward silence.

“So?”

“Not a bad choice,” Octavia continued with an approving nod. “She’s hot as fuck.”

“She said no,” Raven pointed out. “She’s taken. Obviously.”

_I’m not_, Octavia wanted to say. _Ask me out. Make me forget that everyone hates me_. “She didn’t exactly say no, or at least not fast enough for Abby…”

“Huh?”

She let a little smirk cross over her features before she answered. “Kane was spanking the hell out of her because she didn’t immediately tell you no.”

“Sp—what?” Raven spluttered, not sure whether to be scandalized or amused.

“It sounded like it hurt.”

Raven just blinked and shook her head. “I am not going to claim responsibility for that outcome.”

“But at least now you have some masturbation material,” Octavia said, her smirk twitching back into place.

“Wow,” Raven said, finally able to laugh a little.

“So is that your thing, then? Terrorists; murderers?”

“Oh, sure,” Raven said with a dismissive wave. “I like a little danger between my thighs.” She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “No, I just… she was so worried about her kid, you know? And she was just so sweet with her, the idea just sort of tackled me all of a sudden and I went with it.”

Octavia tried not to be disappointed. It’s not like she’d thought she actually had a chance. Hell, she wasn’t even sure if she _wanted_ a chance. “Can I stay in here for awhile? I’m so fucking tired of Jackson following me around whenever they let me out and then being locked up the rest of the time.” At Raven’s skeptical look, she continued. “I never threatened suicide. I might be an asshole but I wouldn’t put one more fucked up thing on your conscience. You’ve suffered more than any of us.”

The last part had Raven’s heart racing and she felt some kind of way about it, she just didn’t know what way. That wasn’t something she would have ever expected to hear from anyone, let alone Octavia. “Just—fine. Don’t make me regret it.” She stood up and pulled a handheld game out of her back pocket and tossed it on the table. “In case you get bored.”

“What is this?” Octavia picked it up and raised an eyebrow. “Why can’t I read it?”

“I don’t know what language it is,” Raven told her, leaning over to point at each of the buttons. “I just know that this one’s jump, this one’s punch and this one’s kick. The arrows I’m sure you can figure out. Turn the volume down though, it’s loud. The power and volume controls are on the side, there.” She pointed them out. “It’s stupid, but it passes the time.”

Octavia felt the sudden and overwhelming urge to cry. It was something so simple but to her at the moment it was everything. “Thanks,” she said quickly, snatching it up and heading off to one corner of the room to hunker down and relax.

“If anyone comes in here it’ll be me,” Raven promised. “Nobody else will know how I disabled the door functions so they won’t be able to open it. They don’t come down here anyway. There’s like a dozen rooms just like this all over the building so nobody needs it.” She picked up the wrench and let herself out, then disabled the door again behind her.

Octavia pulled in a shuddering breath and turned the game on to distract herself from _feeling_.

\--

Six o’clock couldn’t come fast enough and Diyoza was back at the hospital room-turned OR-turned hospital room as soon as the clock struck.

Raven had volunteered to supervise because Clarke was uncomfortable with the idea, and she let Diyoza in the room. Octavia’s revelation the night before flashed through her mind and she contained a wicked smile, motioning to a chair. “Have a seat and I’ll get her for you.”

“I’m okay,” Diyoza said, wringing her hands, anxiously awaiting her baby.

“No? Don’t want to sit?” Raven asked with an innocent expression.

Diyoza’s eyes narrowed good naturedly. “Octavia told you something, didn’t she? Fine, I’ll sit. Fucking assholes,” she muttered, walking over to the chair and sitting with only a little discomfort.

Raven laughed gleefully and headed for Hope’s incubator. “I’m just glad Kane isn’t a pushover. I would have figured he’d be too soft to punish his little girl.”

Diyoza groaned. “This is how she repays me for not ratting her out to her bastard of a brother?”

“She was trying to cheer me up. It worked.”

“I’m so glad to be your entertainment. And for the record, if you ever have the chance to be spanked by Kane, you should take it.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” Raven snorted. “Never had a daddy and don’t want one, but thanks.” She carefully maneuvered everything so she could pick up the baby, then carried her to Diyoza and handed her over. “She’s doing really well. The new lung is almost at full capacity, and as soon as it is, you can take her home.”

Diyoza’s eyes misted and she kissed her daughter’s forehead. “You’re truly one of a kind, Raven. Thank you.”

Raven wasn’t entirely sure what that meant but it sounded like a compliment and she didn’t want to delve into any sort of psychology this early in the morning, so she just nodded. “You’re welcome.”

\--

At breakfast, Bellamy asked the population at large if anyone had seen Octavia, and when no one said they had, his chest constricted in a panic. He knew everyone thought he was being a fucking dick and just wanted to control his sister, so he let them think it. But the truth was, even though he lied about the suicide threat, he was afraid she would hurt herself or hurt everyone else. He was so afraid that it was practically all he thought about. From the moment he woke up until the moment he drugged himself to sleep, he worried. And she was his responsibility, at least in his mind, even if their relationship was utter shit. He knew that keeping her under lock and key was wrong, but he didn’t know what would be right. In the absence of an answer, he did what he knew how to do. And now, having her missing, he thought his brain was going to shatter. So when no one had seen her, he upended an empty table and stormed out of the cafeteria, punching a few walls along the way. She must have left the complex. This was all his fault.

\--

Despite Raven’s promise, Octavia tensed and readied for battle when the door slid open, only relaxing when she saw for herself that it was indeed Raven. “Back so soon?”

“Snuck you some breakfast,” Raven explained, disabling the door and unloading food out of her pockets.

“Not hungry,” Octavia said immediately, turning away. And then she kicked herself and slowly turned back to face Raven. “That’s not true, I just—”

“I didn’t bring you any meat,” Raven said quietly. “Muffins, apple juice and a PB&J sandwich. I figured you could save the sandwich for lunch.”

“You didn’t?” Octavia asked, her voice even quieter than Raven’s. This was literally the first time anyone hadn’t told her to suck it up or get over it or be grateful they had real meat. Well, Jackson didn’t say that, but he didn’t say anything, really. Just did whatever Bellamy told him to do because he was afraid of anyone in power these days. Not that she could entirely blame him, with their people’s history. “Raven, why—” She stopped talking because her eyes filled with tears and her throat didn’t want to work.

Raven took a step forward, not sure exactly what she was going to do—maybe hug Octavia or something—but she didn’t go any further when Octavia took a step back. “We’ve all suffered,” she said by way of explanation. “You can quantify it, but it’s not really something you can qualify. I don’t have a claim on suffering the most. We’ve all been through unspeakable horrors, and like you said, we deal with it in our own ways. I don’t think you should be locked up any more than anyone else.”

Octavia watched her go, warm little tendrils clutching at her blood-soaked heart, hammering away at the protective coating she’d built around it. She stared at the door for a few seconds, then picked up a muffin and did her best to enjoy it.

\--

“Great job, thank you,” Jordan said as Diyoza clocked out for the day.

“Not gonna lie, it’s weird for me when you say that since you’re like a hundred years younger than me,” Diyoza said, giving him a half smile and a salute on her way out the door.

She was a little nervous, though she’d never admit it, because she was fully intending to act out Abby’s fantasy when she got back to the room, and as mind-bendingly hot as it was, there were about a million things that could go wrong. What if Abby ended up not liking it after all? What if she got too into it and hurt Abby? What if, what if, what if? She felt so much pressure she almost second guessed herself and decided not to do it, but then she reminded herself she was Charmaine fucking Diyoza and she could command armies.

Maybe her hand shook when she placed it on the keypad, but she could do this.

All doubts faded when she stepped into the room and laid eyes on Abby. “Have you found it yet? Time is short, doc,” she asked in a voice that was somehow able to hide everything she felt for this woman.

“I just need a little longer, I’m close,” Abby said without turning away from her computer.

“I don’t think you fully understand your situation,” Diyoza said smoothly, the door sliding shut behind her. “I’m done giving you extra time. Every hour you make me wait, I’ll take it out in trade.”

Abby spun around to face the colonel and almost broke character to drag her in for a kiss, but she managed to look irritated instead. “Maybe if you’d quit bothering me every ten minutes I’d actually get something accomplished,” she snapped.

Diyoza moved toward her in a flash, grabbing her around the throat and putting their faces almost close enough to touch. “I think you need a lesson in motivation,” she said with a half smirk, half sneer, and without waiting for Abby’s reaction she spun her around and forced her over the bureau.

“What are you doing?” Abby asked, making a half-assed attempt to break free from the hold. “You’re just wasting more time,” she pointed out. “You’re the one who needs a lesson in motivation. Or maybe common sense.”

Diyoza’s eyebrows shot up and her free hand moved beneath the doctor to work open her pants and then slide inside them. Abby wasn’t wearing panties and that almost got a groan. She’d have to be more careful; be ready for anything.

Abby gasped, renewing her struggles. “Get your—what do you think you’re doing?” she hissed.

“I think you want this,” Diyoza whispered into her ear. “Am I going to find you wet, doc?”

“This is outrageous, and of course you’re n—” She gasped again when Diyoza’s fingers crawled lower, and she knew they were met with slick heat.

“I’m not?” Diyoza asked, head tilting as she slid her fingers back and forth. “Then why are my fingers slipping? You’re fucking drenched,” she purred.

“Maybe I was thinking about someone else before you came in here,” Abby retorted desperately.

Diyoza threw her head back and laughed. “You’re so transparent,” she taunted her lover. “You were thinking about exactly this, weren’t you? If you lie to me I’m gonna fuck you with the handle of that screwdriver over there…”

“And if I don’t lie?” Abby’s hips squirmed, her body wanting the contact even though she was trying to play a role in which it didn’t.

“I’ll fuck you with my tongue,” Diyoza promised, dropping her head again to lick her way around the shell of Abby’s right ear.

Originally Abby had fantasized about Diyoza using some random object to fuck her, but the thought of Diyoza’s tongue had been at the forefront of her mind since last night. “I was thinking about—” She sucked in a breath as fingers teased at her cunt again. “Fine, Colonel, you win. I’m sick and twisted, all right? I was thinking about you fucking me just like this,” she spat venomously.

“That’s what I wanted to hear,” Diyoza murmured, though she was surprised at that answer given the fantasy Abby had relayed. Should she break? She would wait for Abby to first. “You want my tongue, doc?”

“Maybe I do,” Abby answered, and then it was too much for her. She needed to feel what Diyoza really felt for her, needed them both to be who they were. “Yes, honey, please,” she breathed. “I haven’t stopped thinking about it since last night… I need you.”

Diyoza’s demeanor changed instantly and she turned Abby around in her arms, running fingers through her hair and bringing their lips together in a gentle kiss. “I was nervous,” she admitted when they pulled apart. “Did I do okay?”

Abby framed her face with trembling hands and kissed her again, then nodded. “You were perfect,” she said softly. “But I needed this. I needed us. The fantasy was great but it’s too hard to maintain when all I want to do is hold you and kiss you and have you look at me the way you’re looking at me right now. I don’t want to go back to any time that we didn’t have what we have.”

“Then we won’t,” Diyoza promised, working Abby’s pants down so her lover could step out of them. She helped Abby out of her shirt and bra and laid her on the bed, kneeling between her legs and urging them open.

Abby obliged and slid her knees apart, shivering at the feel of Diyoza’s tongue dragging up the inside of her thigh. “Char, please,” she breathed, tangling a hand in the colonel’s ponytail.

Diyoza relented and stopped teasing, giving a long, slow lick up the length of Abby’s slit, her eyes drifting closed at the taste. Decadent, like everything else about Abby.

Abby’s hips jerked and she squeezed Diyoza’s hair, giving a gentle tug. She wasn’t sure anything had ever felt so good. Soft, but insistent. Confident, but not aggressive. And then another lick drew a low moan from her throat, her head tossing to one side.

Diyoza would have been content to stay there all evening, but she wanted Abby to come, so she licked a little harder and pulled her lover’s clit into her mouth, suckling on it with a constant motion until she got what she wanted. Abby’s body tensed and held for a few split seconds before releasing with a shudder and a soft cry, and Diyoza reveled in the fresh flood of wetness, tongue working gratefully until her lover was cleaned up.

“Come here,” Abby said as soon as she was able, holding her arms out.

Diyoza crawled up the bed and laid next to Abby, purring softly as she was pulled into her lover’s arms. It was strange, having someone to do this with and not wanting to bolt the first chance she got. She settled comfortably and they shared a long, sweet kiss.

“How was work?” Abby asked after a few minutes.

“Ha. If Jordan never says ‘great job’ again, it’ll be too soon,” Diyoza replied.

“You’re used to being the boss,” Abby said with a little snicker.

“Maybe that’s it,” Diyoza entertained the thought. “I figured it was because I’m so much older than him, but maybe you’re right.”

“How’s Hope doing? I know you saw her before breakfast and I didn’t get a chance to ask you before you had to go to work.”

“She’s doing really well,” Diyoza said, her chest suffusing with warmth at the topic. “Raven said the new lung is almost at full capacity and then I can take her home.”

“Oh my God, that’s wonderful,” Abby exclaimed, kissing Diyoza again, her eyes lighting up. “We’ll have to see if we can get a crib. Or if there aren’t any, we could build one pretty easily I think. We could put it in the little alcove right there,” she said, nodding toward the space a few feet from the bed that they currently had their larger bureau in.

It was still hard for Diyoza to take in that Kane and Abby wanted her to move in with them, and Abby suggesting a place for a crib sent her into emotional overdrive. She clung to her lover and buried her face in Abby’s neck as she shook softly with tears.

Abby blinked, surprised at the reaction, but she supposed she shouldn’t have been. “Hey,” she whispered, holding her tighter. “I’m always going to want you here. You and Hope. You might as well get used to it.” She said the last part in a lighter, teasing tone, kissing Diyoza’s head, before falling serious again. “Marcus and I, we—no, I’ll just speak for myself and let him do the same. Somewhere along the line, we’ve—I’ve—something happened and you just—I love you, Char.”

Diyoza didn’t know how much she could handle in one evening. Being wanted, being loved, being so important to someone, finally about to get her baby back, having a place to call home, having a family… everything she had not had before. “Abby,” she breathed, pulling back to look at her, needing to see her face even if it was a bit blurry. “Don’t say you love me, please…”

Abby brushed some tears from her cheeks and kissed away some others. “But I do, honey. I love you.”

She had never been in a position where her heart could get broken and the vulnerability threatened to drown her. “You won’t, though, not forever. I can’t—”

“Shh,” Abby interrupted, shaking her head and putting a finger to Diyoza’s lips. “I love you.”

Diyoza closed her eyes and sucked Abby’s finger into her mouth, needing something familiar. She took a few slow, deep breaths in and out through her nose, then released Abby’s finger and put a hand on her lover’s chest. “I love you, Abby. Very much. And it terrifies me.”

“I know there’s nothing I can say to take away that fear, but maybe in time it’ll fade on its own. For now, all I can do is beg you to move in here. You and Hope.”

Another deep breath and the colonel finally nodded. “Okay.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No TW unless anal without lube counts as a TW........?

After finding Marcus in the storehouse and telling him the good news, they went to update their status with the housing registrar, AKA Emori, at dinner.

“You’re doing what now?” Emori asked, pausing with a forkful of mashed potatoes halfway to her mouth.

“John didn’t tell you?” Abby asked, eyebrows lifting. “I would have guessed he’d told everyone by now.”

“John and I are not on speaking terms at the moment,” Emori said, setting her fork down and pulling out her tiny notebook where she kept track of housing. She flipped to the latest page and showed them the entry of herself moving into her own room. It said temporary, but who knew how long that would be?

“Ouch,” Diyoza said, making a face.

“It’s fine. We’ll get over it,” Emori said dismissively. She took out her pen and located Diyoza’s original entry, putting a single line through it, then flipped back to the most current page and jotted down the new information. “Thanks for remembering to update,” she told them. “I hate audits.”

Marcus put his arms around his girls and gave Emori a smile as he led them toward the buffets.

“What the fuck,” Emori whispered as she watched them walk away, then shook her head and went back to her dinner.

\--

Raven snuck some more muffins out of the cafeteria after she finished eating, along with another juice box, a water box, and an entire jar of peanut butter with a spoon. She made her way to Octavia’s hideout and slipped inside after checking she wasn’t followed, disabling the door behind her. “Dinner,” she called, starting to unload her pockets.

“Hang on, I almost beat this guy,” Octavia said from around the corner, and Raven could hear her fingers smashing the buttons of the handheld game. “Yes!”

That put a goofy smile on her face, that Octavia was so into the game she’d left her, and she sat down at the table to wait.

Octavia saved her game and shut it off, then rounded the corner and stopped when she saw the jar of peanut butter. “Planning to leave me for longer this time?” she asked, raising an eyebrow and finishing the trek to the table.

“This is for emergency protein,” Raven said with a smirk, placing her palm over the top of the jar. “I’ll try and bring you some clothes later, or at least pajamas, and a blanket. I’ll have to raid the storehouse after it closes. What size are you?”

“I have no idea. Grounder clothes don’t exactly come with size tags,” Octavia reasoned, sitting down across from Raven and picking up a muffin. “Is this chocolate? How the hell did we get chocolate?”

“I think it’s called chao, actually. It’s similar to chocolate. You know those weird looking plants with the brown leaves?”

“Haven’t been outside much,” Octavia muttered, biting into the muffin. “It’s kind of sweeter than chocolate,” she said with her mouth full. “It’s pretty good actually.” And then she sort of blurted out of nowhere, “don’t get caught stealing for me, okay? I’ll survive without pajamas and a blanket.”

“Just for that I’m getting you a pillow too.”

“You’re an asshole, Reyes.”

\--

Diyoza pushed her food around on her plate with her fork, her head too full of thoughts to focus on eating.

Marcus noticed first and instead of scolding her, he just took the fork from her hand, speared a piece of meat, and held it to her mouth.

Having been so lost in thought, it startled Diyoza and she sat up straighter, opening her mouth to accept the bite of meat.

“You like it better when your daddy feeds you,” Abby leaned over and whispered into her ear.

Marcus heard anyway and a little smirk tugged at his lips. “Is that true?” he asked, holding up a bite of potatoes now.

Diyoza blushed and ate the potatoes, looking away from them both. The truth was that yes, she did, and she was so used to having him do it by now that it was comforting. “Yes, Daddy,” she murmured in the direction of the table, then jerked her head up when Kane landed a stinging slap to her thigh.

“I think you know better than to look away when I’m talking to you, don’t you?” he asked disapprovingly.

The blush darkened as her jaw dropped at his words, her eyes locking on his for an interminable moment. “I’m sorry, Daddy,” she exhaled softly.

Abby noticed a few people glance their way at the slap, but nobody called for security, so that was a plus. “Behave,” she told Diyoza, kissing the back of her head. “Do you only want him to feed you, or will I do as well? It’s okay if you just want him to do it.”

Diyoza closed her eyes at the kiss and turned her head to face Abby at the question. “You too,” she assured her, absently rubbing her thigh where Kane had hit her.

Abby reached around and took over the job of rubbing the sore spot, nuzzling her nose against Diyoza’s temple. “I’m sorry you got a smack, honey,” she said affectionately.

Diyoza pouted at Kane and leaned back against Abby, nestling her head on her lover’s shoulder.

Marcus covered his mouth and pretended to be stroking his beard when in reality they were too damn cute and he was trying not to laugh.

\--

Echo perched in a tree outside the storehouse, waiting to see what Raven would come out with. When she came out with clothes, a blanket, and a pillow, the spy’s suspicions were confirmed. She dropped down out of the tree, landing a few feet in front of Raven. “You know where Octavia is,” she said without preamble. “First extra food from the cafeteria, now stealing from the storehouse after hours?”

Raven was more upset that Echo had noticed her movements than she was about the actual confrontation, and she stood staring in shock.

“Come on, Reyes, I’m a spy,” Echo said with a smirk.

“Are you arresting me?” Raven asked irritatedly.

The smirk faded and Echo sighed, giving a subtle shake of her head. “No. I just wanted to know if she’s okay.”

Irritation turned to intrigue and Raven shifted her weight, tilting her head and narrowing her eyes at Echo. “You’re not turning me in? Why?”

“Being Bellamy’s girlfriend doesn’t make me Bellamy’s bitch,” Echo replied with her own notch of irritation. “I make my own decisions, and turning in someone who’s helping a friend isn’t one of them.”

“I didn’t realize you were friends.”

“Friends isn’t really the right word. Commiserates, maybe? Anyway, is she okay?”

“She’s fine,” Raven said with a nod.

“Well just… tell her I said hi and that Bellamy and Clarke are literally the only two people who think she should be locked up. Niylah even told me she’s moved to the couch until Clarke fixes the situation.” The smirk returned.

Raven couldn’t help a snort of laughter at that. Clarke hadn’t mentioned it, of course. “Okay, I’ll tell her. I should go, though, she’s probably tired.”

Echo nodded and climbed back up into the tree, settling down to look up at the stars for a while.

Raven breathed a sigh of relief and vowed to be more stealthy than she already was, heading back to the main complex and down the corridors to the conference room.

Octavia hadn’t really counted on Raven returning, so she was nestled on the floor in her favorite corner, but when she heard the door she got up and went around. Her eyes widened at the pile of stuff on her table. A blanket, a pillow, and a bunch of clothes. “Jesus, Raven, glitter?” she asked, stepping over and picking up a pair of leggings, holding them up with two fingers.

“Uh, you’re welcome,” Raven replied incredulously.

“There was nothing black?” Octavia complained, rifling through the clothes.

“No, there was nothing black. Apparently the people here were cheerful.”

“Fuck me,” Octavia said as she picked up a shimmery low-cut blouse.

“Maybe, if you put on the glitter pants,” Raven teased.

Octavia shot her a murderous look and ripped said pants in half. “Oops. Guess you’ll have to repurpose these.”

“Don’t waste!” Raven admonished her, taking the blouse out of her hands before it could meet the same fate. “If you don’t want them I’ll put them back. And call you an ungrateful whore, but put them back.”

“I’m supposed to be grateful that you brought me stripper clothes?”

“Yes. Or rather that I risked getting arrested to bring you anything at all.”

The entirety of the situation shrouded her again and Octavia looked at Raven apologetically. “I didn’t mean—”

“Don’t get sappy. It’s fine,” Raven said with a grin. “Do you want the clothes or not?”

“I just… I can’t wear that,” Octavia said, more subdued now. “I can’t wear pretty clothes.”

Raven realized the objection went deeper than the obvious and her tone softened. She held up the blouse in front of Octavia and asked, “why not?”

“Because it would be a lie.”

“Maybe clothes are just clothes, and they don’t have to tell a story,” Raven said gently, setting the blouse on the table and reaching for the clasp of Octavia’s cloak.

Octavia flinched and almost threw a hook, but forced her hands to her sides, clenching into fists and unclenching; clenching and unclenching. “What are you doing?” she asked flatly, staring over Raven’s shoulder at the wall.

Raven didn’t answer, just worked open the clasp and removed the cloak, draping it over the back of a chair.

“Raven,” Octavia said in warning, her entire body tense as a bowstring.

“Just let me do my experiment,” Raven shushed her, fingers expertly undoing the buckles of Octavia’s corset. She moved around behind the girl and undid the double knot holding the laces taut, then went about the laborious process of loosening them enough to slide the garment off over Octavia’s waist. She directed her eyes elsewhere once it was off, picking up the blouse again and doing her best not to stare at perfect tits as she cleared her throat. “Put your arms up…”

Octavia was distinctly uncomfortable with the entire thing, but she dutifully raised her arms, not exactly wanting to stand half naked in front of Raven for longer than necessary. Not unless Raven was just as half naked, which she knew would never happen.

Raven slipped the blouse over Octavia’s head and arms, settling the hem around her waist, then moved back so she could appraise the look.

Octavia gasped, her hands immediately going to her nipples to protect them from the strange sensation. “It’s soft, but it’s—scratching,” she said, blinking at the conflict. Everywhere else, it felt…nice. It was light, it moved when she moved, it was flowy, like a caress. But it irritated her nipples again as soon as she moved her hands, so she put them right back.

Raven watched her intently, knowing it wasn’t a sexual thing, but seeing Octavia touch herself like that was a little enticing. “Scratching? Do you want a bra? I’m sorry it’s purple, but I did grab one…” She rifled through the pile and came up with the garment, almost offering it out, but then deciding at the last second to help put it on instead. She wrapped the band around Octavia’s stomach and hooked the clasp, then slid it so it was facing the right way and lifted until the band was just under Octavia’s breasts. The closeness was making her want to—_stop, Raven. Don’t be a creep_.

Octavia was frozen in place, having Raven’s hands on her like that, and she barely even dared to breathe. When the mechanic suddenly stopped moving, she exhaled a rush of breath. “What now?”

“Now you take your hands out of the way and I put the cups over your tits so the shirt doesn’t scratch your nipples,” Raven said, trying to sound casual. “Then you take your arms out of the sleeves and put them through the straps. You haven’t worn a bra before?”

“I know how to put on a bra by myself,” Octavia said dryly, “just not with two people. Is this standard protocol when delivering clothes, or is this special treatment?”

“It’s special treatment, asshole,” Raven said, flipping her off.

“How special does it get? Now my nipples hurt. What can you do about that, since it’s your fault for making me wear this ridiculous blouse? Did you bring any lidocaine on the off chance this might happen?”

“I don’t think you can put lidocaine on nipples,” Raven said, purposely missing the point.

“They’re sore,” Octavia insisted. “I’m just gonna put the corset back on…”

“No,” Raven said, much too quickly, and fought a blush as she tried to backtrack. “I mean the blouse is clean… let me at least wash the corset for you before you put it back on.”

“And here I thought you were going to offer a _massage_, not offer to do my laundry,” Octavia teased, much more comfortable if she could make Raven uncomfortable.

Raven was not easily knocked off guard, and if Octavia wanted to play that game, she could give as good as she got. “Ohhh, is that all you wanted?” she asked with a little snort. “No problem. Hands or mouth?”

Octavia was sure enough that Raven was bluffing to issue her own bluff. “Mouth, obviously. Or more specifically, your tongue.”

Raven’s blush turned to a smirk and she lifted up the shimmery blouse, ducked her head and ran her tongue over one of Octavia’s nipples.

Octavia shrieked and stumbled backward, tripping over herself and ending up sprawled on her ass, breathing hard. “What the f—Reyes?” But Raven was already out the door, leaving Octavia to navigate that emotional minefield on her own.

\--

The next morning Marcus had to work early, and it was still fifteen minutes before Diyoza could go visit Hope. Abby rolled over to face her with a lazy grin on her face and laid an arm across her middle. “Hey… I want to talk to you about something.”

Diyoza instantly stiffened. “You changed your mind.”

“What? No.”

“I understand, I’ll—”

“Charmaine Catalina Diyoza, I did not change my mind!” Abby said sharply.

Diyoza flinched at the use of her middle name, and actually, how did Abby even know it?

“I have not changed my mind and I’m not going to change my mind. Have you changed your mind?”

“No,” Diyoza said quickly.

“So stop thinking I’m going to change mine,” Abby said more gently, pulling her in for a kiss.

Diyoza relaxed into the kiss, the tension slowly leaving her body, and she put her arms around Abby when their lips parted. “So what did you want to talk to me about, then?”

“Well… I really want to watch Marcus fuck you in the ass.”

Diyoza spluttered a little at that, her cheeks heating up for the fifteen-zillionth time since her relationship with Kane and Abby had changed. She had no idea how to respond to that.

“Have you done it before?”

“Yeah, but—”

“Did you like it?”

“No one was watching,” Diyoza explained. “It was okay, but the guy used too much lube.”

“What if… I didn’t want Marcus to use _any_ lube?” Abby asked almost hesitantly.

“You want it to hurt?” Diyoza asked, eyebrows lifting.

“Mhmm,” Abby nodded. “I mean not too much, but some.”

Diyoza shivered as she thought about it, curling closer to Abby. “You are a very wicked woman.”

“Is that a yes?”

“It’s a yes.”

\--

Octavia had barely slept all night, even with the physical comfort of a blanket and pillow. She had put the corset and cloak back on after Raven left, and now she was up at six am pacing the length of the conference room. She grabbed a muffin on her way past the table and ate it while she paced.

Around eight her legs were tired and she went back to her ‘bed’, getting out the game Raven had given her and firing it up. Maybe she should just turn herself in. At least with Jackson she could provoke him into sedating her and she didn’t have to feel so much.

\--

Raven found Niylah in medical when she couldn’t take her own thoughts anymore. “Niylah, you got a minute?”

Niylah held up a finger while she finished inventory of the gauze pads, then put down her pen and clipboard and looked over at Raven. “Sure. What do you need?”

“Just… you know… your wisdom and your non-judgmentalness.”

“Ah, you need to talk,” Niylah said with a nod. “What seemingly terrible thing have you done?” she teased.

“Can we go somewhere else?” Raven asked, nodding subtly toward the security camera in the room. They were placed in every room related to anything medical or security.

“It must have been really terrible,” Niylah continued to tease as she took her gloves off and followed Raven out the door.

Once they were away from prying devices, Raven relayed what had happened with Octavia and waited to be the first person Niylah ever judged.

“Why do you feel so badly about it?” Niylah asked after hearing the story. “Because you left, or because you feel like you crossed a line?”

Raven opened her mouth to say she crossed a line, but Niylah’s question made her realize that she felt so badly because she’d left. “Huh. I guess because I left, actually. I didn’t really give her a chance to slap me or report me or something.”

“Do you really think that’s how she would have reacted?” Niylah asked softly. “Maybe she’s just as lonely as you are. From what you say, even though she was teasing, it was her idea.”

“I’m sure she didn’t expect me to actually do it,” Raven said, staring at her hands.

“But the fact remains that the thought entered her mind either way,” Niylah pointed out. “And it’s almost nine o’clock… she probably thinks you’re not coming back.”

Raven hadn’t even considered that, and she squeezed Niylah’s hand. “Thank you. Your wisdom really is legendary,” she said sincerely, and then took off toward Octavia’s conference room at the best jog she could manage.

Thankfully she didn’t run into anyone on the way that would delay her, and she slipped into the room, disabling the door as usual, and took a deep breath. “Octavia?”

Octavia squeaked and pulled her blanket up over herself. She had finally stripped off her clothes and resorted to masturbating to try and fall asleep. She hadn’t expected Raven to come back at all, let alone in the middle of the morning.

Raven heard the squeak and headed around the corner. “I wanted to say I’m sor—” She stopped when she saw the corset, cloak and pants on the floor and Octavia under the blanket. “What…” She couldn’t figure out how to end that question so she let it trail off.

“Someone shocked the fuck out of me and then left me to deal with it by myself, and I couldn’t sleep,” Octavia snapped.

“So you… took off your clothes?” Raven asked.

“I took off my clothes so it would be easier to masturbate. But here you are, so that’s on hold.”

Raven’s head threatened to explode at that. “I’m—I’ll come back later,” she said, jerking a thumb toward the door.

“That’d be good,” Octavia said through clenched teeth.

“Expect me around nine. I have a bike to fix after dinner,” Raven said, then held her breath until she was back in the hallway where she let it out in a strangled puff. “Fuck my life.”

\--

Clarke narrowed her eyes when she saw Raven slide onto the bench across from Niylah at dinner. She was still flabbergasted that Niylah had moved to the sofa over this thing with Octavia, but now her girlfriend wasn’t even sitting with her at meals. To put it bluntly, it sucked. How was she supposed to convince Bellamy to back off of Octavia when she felt the same way he did? Octavia had endangered everyone. Everyone. And in her opinion, aside from McCreary, _Blodreina_ was next in line for the blame of destroying Earth. If she hadn’t forced a war by burning down the hydrofarm, McCreary never would have dropped that bomb. And so far, Octavia had done nothing to show that she wasn’t still that person. If not for Niylah, she wouldn’t even be entertaining the thought of talking Bellamy down, but she hated getting the cold shoulder from the woman she loved. She watched Raven and Niylah interacting, a little piece of her heart breaking that she couldn’t just go join them.

“Dude… she was masturbating,” Raven hissed as she sat down.

Niylah popped a piece of broccoli into her mouth to hide her smirk. “Did you lend her a hand?”

“What? No! She was pissed that I interrupted!”

“Are you sure she wasn’t just uncertain how to ask you?”

“Yes, I’m pretty damn sure,” Raven said with a frown. “She’s not interested in me like that, Niylah.”

“I’m pretty damn sure you’re wrong,” Niylah said with a wink.

“You are infuriating,” Raven complained, exasperated. “Why do you have to give me hope?”

“So you do want to pursue something more intimate with her?”

“I admit nothing,” Raven said resolutely.

“You don’t have to admit it,” Niylah said with a smug little half smile. “You didn’t run out on her again, though, did you?”

“No, I told her I’d come back after I fix that bike.”

That satisfied the grounder and she nodded her approval. “I’m sure she’ll have had time to figure out what to say.”

“That’ll make one of us.”

\--

“Are you nervous, honey?”

Marcus was in the shower after work and Abby was standing at the foot of their bed with Diyoza.

Diyoza had to think about it for a second to sort out how she felt, but she realized nervous wasn’t one of the feelings. “No,” she said quietly. “I think… excited, more. I like giving you what you want… I like knowing your eyes are on me while I’m doing the dirtiest things you ask me to…”

Abby shuddered and wrapped her hands in Diyoza’s shirt collar, pulling her into a hot, messy kiss. As submissive as Diyoza was for her and Marcus, the colonel didn’t often admit it aloud, and hearing that was like a ball of fire shooting through her entire body. “You are so fucking hot,” she groaned when she broke the kiss. “Take off your clothes. I want you naked when Marcus is done showering.”

Marcus rinsed out his hair, the last thing he needed to do, and shut off the water. He had been informed what the girls wanted, and he had no objections. He toweled off and pulled his hair back into a ponytail to keep it out of his face, then opened the bathroom door and leaned on an elbow to watch his ladies, one naked and one fully clothed.

Both heads turned when the bathroom door opened and both women stared appreciatively at their naked man. “Marcus,” Abby said, motioning him closer.

His lips twitched into a grin as he slowly walked over, sliding a hand into Abby’s long hair and indulging in a soft kiss. He could kiss the woman for hours, but he knew her patience would quickly wear thin if he tried it right now. So he reluctantly broke away and gave Diyoza the same soft sort of kiss, gently pinching her peaked nipples before sliding his hands down to rest on her waist. “How would you like her, dear?” he asked Abby.

That was a good question. How would Abby like her? She ran a few pictures through her mind before deciding. “Stand her here and bend her over the bed,” she finally said, pointing to the floor at the foot of it.

Diyoza reached out to trail a finger along Abby’s arm as she let Kane move her into place, then trailed the same one over his cock as she bent over.

Marcus jumped at the unexpected touch and couldn’t suppress a low chuckle.

“Baby,” Abby said coyly, taking a step toward him and placing a palm on his chest. “Would you get yourself hard? It’s been a long time since you did that for me…” She would have no problem doing it for him but the idea of him doing it and then fucking Diyoza’s ass… she thought she might fall over.

“Of course, dear,” Marcus said, kissing her forehead. He wrapped a hand around the base of his shaft and slowly started to move it, his eyes on Abby’s face.

Diyoza made a noise that wasn’t easily interpreted and dropped her head forward between her shoulders. “Can I look? Please?”

Abby grinned and laid a hand on the colonel’s back. “Yeah, go ahead, honey."

Thank fuck. She turned to look over her shoulder and watched as his hand started to move faster, his cock twitching to life. Knowing what he was going to do to her with it just made it all that much sweeter and she finally couldn’t take it anymore and had to look away.

When he was ready, he instinctively went to grab the lube, but remembered that they wanted him to go without it. While that would make the experience more pleasurable for him, he didn’t want to hurt Diyoza, not like that, so he would be very careful no matter what the girls said. “Are you ready?” he asked her, moving behind her and laying his hands on her backside.

“Yes Sir,” she breathed, closing her eyes. She and Abby had decided beforehand that this was not a ‘daddy’ sort of activity.

Abby watched as he used his hands to spread her cheeks, and she reached over to help guide him so he wouldn’t have to let go. She kept her hand there, unmoving, just as a support if he needed it.

“I need you to promise to tell me if it hurts too much,” he said quietly to Diyoza.

“Yes Sir, I promise,” Diyoza said in a rush, too wrapped up in the anticipation to really think about how sweet he was.

Marcus nodded to himself at her promise and then gave a slow, steady push until just the head of his cock was inside.

Diyoza cried out softly, the sensation as distinctly uncomfortable as it was shatteringly pleasurable. A shudder tore up her spine and she arched her back, clenching her hands into fists.

“Are you okay, honey?” Abby asked, unable to move her eyes from her lover’s ass but still wanting to check in.

“Yes, yes Ma’am,” Diyoza said shakily.

Abby’s eyelids fluttered and she clenched her thighs together, stroking Diyoza’s back with her free hand. “You’re such a good girl,” she murmured.

“Tell me when you’re ready for more,” Marcus requested, his cock aching to go deeper.

“I’m ready, Sir,” Diyoza recited, and as soon as he gave another gentle push her ass started to throb. She was too turned on for it to be entirely painful, but in the back of her mind she knew it was going to be rough as hell later.

Abby watched Marcus’s cock disappear inch by inch into Diyoza’s ass, her clit pulsing electrically, sending signals all sorts of places. When he was about halfway in she held up her hand. “Just a minute,” she whispered, then crawled onto the bed and around in front of Diyoza, her heart skipping at the tears streaming down her lover’s face. “Honey, you’re supposed to say something if it hurts that much,” she said, concern overpowering arousal in an instant.

“It doesn’t,” Diyoza swore. “I’m just overwhelmed. I know it’ll feel like I’m being torn apart later, but right now it’s good, I promise.”

“You wouldn’t lie to me just because you think it’s what I want to hear?” Abby asked, wiping Diyoza’s tears away with her thumbs.

“No, Ma’am, never,” Diyoza said honestly. “That would be a betrayal of trust.”

Abby nodded even as she moved to kiss the colonel, hard and possessive. “Okay honey, you can ask him for more if you’re sure.”

“If he moves again I’m going to orgasm,” Diyoza murmured for Abby’s ears only. “Is that okay?”

“That’s more than okay,” Abby purred.

“Please Sir, I’m ready,” Diyoza said at a normal volume.

She was right. As soon as his hips moved, it was too much pressure to endure without release, and all her muscles clamped down as she gave a shuddering cry, falling to her elbows on the bed, burying her face in the sheets.

Abby almost came with her and Marcus did come with her, releasing into her ass because he wasn’t about to pull out fast enough to come on the sheets. He couldn’t do anything fast at the moment without really hurting her. “Fuck,” he groaned as he softened enough to slide out safely. “I’m so sorry…”

“What? For what?” Diyoza panted, collapsing fully onto the mattress when he slid out of her, reaching a hand up blindly to hold onto whatever part of Abby she landed on.

“He thinks it’s disrespectful to come in my mouth, or in your ass, apparently,” Abby explained, stroking Diyoza’s hair. “Even though I’ve told him a dozen times it’s okay.”

Her other hand tried to feel around for Marcus behind her, and she suspected he noticed and moved closer so she could reach him, fingers closing around his hip. “No,” she managed to croak out, still breathing heavily. “It’s okay. It’s good. Soothing,” she tried to communicate what she felt.

Marcus was unconvinced, but he let it go. “Let me get a warm cloth to clean you up.”

She squeezed his hip in gratitude before releasing him, her limbs feeling heavy. She crawled closer to Abby so she could lay her head in her lover’s lap.

Marcus wet a cloth with warm water and returned to the bed, sitting down on the edge of it and gently cleaning his come and the little bit of blood mixed with it.

“Was it good for you?” Diyoza whispered to Abby after Kane finished cleaning her up.

“It was incredible,” Abby assured her, still stroking her hair. “You just rest. I know you’re going to be sore in a little bit but I’ll take such good care of you, honey. Marcus too.”

“Absolutely,” Marcus agreed, stretching out alongside Diyoza and rubbing her back.

“I don’t think I deserve either of you,” Diyoza mumbled, unaccustomed to such care and tenderness.

“Don’t let me hear that nonsense again,” Marcus scolded her. “We deserve each other, all three of us.”

Those were the words that she fell asleep to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the winner for best line of the chapter goes to Echo, with "Being Bellamy's girlfriend doesn't make me Bellamy's bitch."


	6. Chapter 6

Raven stayed an extra few minutes after she was done fixing the bike under the pretense of making sure it worked right, but really she was just stalling for time, hoping that she’d come up with something to say to Octavia in the next five minutes.

The bike was perfect and she had no further excuse to be there, so she forced a smile and approached Carter. “Good as new,” she told him, tossing him the keys from a few feet away to avoid whatever ungodly embrace he would no doubt try to force on her. He was a hugger. Which would be creepy if he wasn’t super gay. But he was. Super gay. So it wasn’t creepy but she still didn’t want a hug. “Later.”

“Thanks bunches, Raven!” he called after her, waving at her disappearing form.

\--

She made one stop on her way to the conference room, to collect a black tank top and black cargo pants that Echo had somehow dug up for her. “Who did you steal these from?”

Echo looked entirely naïve to the reason for such a suggestion. “We won’t have to worry about that unless Octavia gets a get out of jail free card…”

“Pop culture reference. It suits you,” Raven said, taking the clothes and nudging Echo with her elbow on her way out the door. “Thanks.”

“Yep.”

\--

Octavia felt ridiculous. She was in the purple bra and the stupid shimmery blouse and a pair of tight jeans, which she cut a few stripes in and frayed the edges because she really just couldn’t do skinny jeans without adding a bit of grunge. The blouse was bad enough.

She was freshly showered, though. That was a plus. She had crawled through the vents back to Abby’s room and Abby had let her use the shower, then helped her put a couple dozen or so tiny braids in her hair while Diyoza was passed the fuck out and Marcus snored. She even let Octavia use her makeup, so her eyes were lined in black kohl, wingtips and all, and her lips were a soft shade of glossy mocha. Abby even had mascara she’d made from squid ink and liquid thickener. So she looked pretty, but that made her feel ridiculous.

Raven was probably just going to come back, apologize, say it had been a mistake, and leave again, so she didn’t know what she’d gone to all the trouble for. She should probably just undo the braids and wipe all the shit off her face.

She had just reached for a napkin when she heard footsteps outside the door and cursed her timing.

\--

Raven still had no idea what she was going to say, and she even tried to access the part of her brain ALIE had occupied on the off chance there was some intelligent, witty, problem-solving idea left over from the sociopathic AI. No such luck. An EMP was an EMP.

She took a slow breath and enabled the door, just long enough to step inside, then made sure it wasn’t functioning before she turned around to go find Octavia. Except she didn’t have to find her because Octavia was standing right there and holy fuck shit she was clean and dolled up and Jesus Christ that blouse looked good on her and what had she done to the jeans and were those braids in her hair and was that mascara and oh crap she dropped the clothes she was holding. And forgot to breathe.

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea after all, judging by the look on Raven’s face. “Hey! What are those?” she broke the awkward silence with childlike glee at seeing black clothing.

“W—Y—Wha—” Raven stammered uselessly, then said in a rush, “Echo stole them for you.” She couldn’t stop staring. Her game face was shattered.

Octavia almost squealed at the confirmation they were indeed for her, and she moved forward, bent down and picked them up, intending to hold them up and inspect them, but she didn’t get that far before she found herself shoved up against the wall and kissed. On the mouth this time. She made a strangled noise out of sheer surprise and she dropped the clothes, about to put her hands on Raven’s back and pull her closer when the mechanic tore herself away and started pacing.

“No! I’m sorry,” Raven said resolutely. “I came here to apologize. That’s what I came here to do. And now I did the same thing twice, so is my apology even any good in this situation? How many times do you get to fuck up before apologies don’t mean anything? Fuck. Fuck!”

“Are you talking to me?” Octavia asked acidically. “Do you want my opinion? Because I mean I am the offended party, am I not? Or are you just going to go on a side rant and pretend I’m not even here?”

That stopped Raven abruptly and she turned to look at Octavia. “What?”

“You’re assuming I’m offended, right?”

“Of course you’re offended!”

An amused snort preceded a hollow laugh and Octavia slammed her palm down on the table. “_Look_ at me. Do you think I’m wearing this fucking _asinine_ getup for my health? Do you think I _like_ the way squid ink makes my eyelashes feel like they’re cased in _cement_? Do you think I _like_ the taste of _lip_ _gloss_?”

Raven blinked, sorting through things a mile a minute in her head. “Is that… is that your overwhelmingly rude way of saying you—that you’re wearing that for me?” She could feel her adrenal medulla gushing epinephrine, feel her heart beat faster, feel the vasoconstriction in her veins and arteries telling her body to scream or run. But she had mastered fight or flight long ago and she made herself do nothing, just stand there and watch Octavia, giving no indication of what was going on inside.

Octavia stared at Raven for a minute, trying to read her, and then shrugged. “It was either rude or vulnerable, and I don’t do vulnerable.”

Raven took a hesitant step forward, nodding her head. “That makes sense… so you’re not offended?” she asked much more calmly than either of them had been over the last few minutes.

“I am, but not by the kiss,” Octavia said with a half smirk.

Raven looked sheepish at that and moved close enough to reach out and trail a finger along one sleeve of the blouse. “You put squid ink on your eyelashes to impress a girl?” she whispered.

“In no way whatsoever are you just a girl,” Octavia objected, closing her eyes at the touch. “I may be able to down you in combat, but you’d slay me anywhere else…”

“Who says you could down me in combat?” Raven teased to distract herself from what her fingers were doing, crawling across Octavia’s shoulder and down her side.

“I can down anyone on this planet in combat,” Octavia returned confidently, her voice low with a bit of gravel. “The only one who could give me a fair fight is Niylah.” If Indra were on the planet, she’d join that list, but her once mentor had felt more comfortable staying on the ship and monitoring things from space most of the time.

“I’m sure Niylah would appreciate that you hold her in such high regard…” Her other hand joined the first, drawing idle patterns over the muscles of Octavia’s back.

Octavia shifted, almost catlike in the movement, muscles rippling. “Niylah is too humble to appreciate any such thing.”

Raven feathered her fingers over the sleek material until her hands rested lightly on Octavia’s waist. “Let me get a do-over on my stunned stupid reaction,” she said quietly but decisively, stepping back to look Octavia over from head to toe. “You look…” she stepped forward again. “…absolutely…” Her hands went back to the girl’s waist. “…fucking _breathtaking_.”

Octavia would swear she didn’t blush. And she realized there were no rules saying she couldn’t be the one to start a kiss, so she leaned up and brushed their mouths together, flicking her tongue over Raven’s bottom lip. Raven let out a throaty sound that made her shiver. The fact that she could make Raven Reyes sound like that was incredibly appealing. And just with a little kiss. “Maybe you do like a little danger between your thighs after all,” she said, eyebrows lifting as she slowly pulled back.

Raven stumbled a little trying to follow Octavia’s mouth, not wanting the kiss to end, and steadied herself with a hand on the conference table. Then when Octavia’s words registered she wasn’t sure whether to laugh or groan. “Well, nobody knows everything about themselves, do they? We’re always learning.” She decided on a middle ground. “And as much as I want you between my thighs in every possible sense, this thing… this whatever this is… it means more to me than sex, so if—”

Octavia put a finger over Raven’s lips to shush her. “Shh. I wasn’t going to let you in my pants tonight, Reyes,” she said with a smirk. “Don’t worry. Slow is good.” She couldn’t resist adding, “especially given that the first time you touched me you bolted, and the second time, you had some kind of unattractive meltdown. Imagine if there was a third time before you’re ready?”

Raven took the teasing in stride, biting her bottom lip. “It could be apocalyptic, and nobody needs that. Well, again.”

Octavia laughed and then scowled at Raven for making her laugh. “Okay get out now.”

Raven cackled on her way to the door, blowing a kiss when she got there before slipping quietly out into the corridor.

\--

Diyoza slowly came to the next morning, and before she was even fully coherent she was groaning at the throbbing pain in her ass. She had known it was going to be bad, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t still hoping otherwise. “Fuuuuuck,” she swore as she rolled onto her side. Movement turned the dull ache into a sharp, shooting pain. “Ab—Abby,” she called, opening her eyes to see if her lover was still in bed.

Abby was brushing her teeth but when she heard her name she poked her head out of the bathroom. One look at her lover and she knew the fallout of last night had hit. “I’ll be right there, baby girl,” she called back, spitting out toothpaste and quickly rinsing, leaving her toothbrush on the counter and going to Diyoza’s side, sitting on the bed next to her and stroking her hair. “You’re hurting?” It was more a statement than a question, really.

Diyoza hated feeling weak; hated that her first thought when she was uncomfortable was to call for Abby. She shouldn’t bother Abby with it. Her lover had more important things to do than worry about her after-sex pain. If she couldn’t handle it then she shouldn’t have said yes. She opened her mouth to brush it off and say she was fine, but one look in Abby’s eyes turned her resolve to ash and she just nodded. “I know there’s nothing you can do, I just…” She shrugged, her own eyes filling with tears.

“You need me, honey, and that’s okay,” Abby promised, laying down and carefully pulling Diyoza into her arms. Her heart broke a little when her lover whimpered. “I’m going to be right here for you, I’m not going anywhere,” she further promised, kissing the top of Diyoza’s head. “And neither are you, for that matter.” She reached across to her portable comm and dialed the hydrofarm.

“Jordan speaking.”

“Hi Jordan, it’s Abby. Diyoza can’t make it in today. I’m here with her and she’s not feeling well.”

“Sure, Abby. Just have her stop in and let me know in person so she can sign the absence slip.”

“It would be easier for her if you could stop by here if you need her to sign something. Would you mind?”

“Oh. Is she all right?”

“She’ll be fine, she just needs as much rest as she can get. Except for the morning visit to see her daughter, she’s under strict doctor’s orders to stay in bed. We’re in sector A, room 15.”

“Okay, no problem. I’ll be there in a few minutes.” He didn’t feel the need to mention that she wasn’t technically an official doctor at the moment, not according to the powers that be. He wasn’t an asshole.

“Thanks Jordan.” She shut off the comm and put it back on the nightstand, then went back to running her fingers through her lover’s hair. “Try to look a little sick when he gets here,” she suggested.

“I’m flattered that you don’t think I look sick already,” Diyoza said with an attempt at a smile.

Abby kissed her, slow and sweet. “When this lump of a man wakes up I’ll ask him to bring us some breakfast in bed.”

“Lump’f mn’zwake,” Marcus mumbled, face down under a pillow.

Abby laughed and rolled over to kiss his shoulder, then rolled back to Diyoza. “Could you bring your ladies some breakfast in bed?”

“Lump’f mn,” Marcus repeated. Apparently he was stuck on being called a lump of a man.

Diyoza couldn’t help laughing now too and she would have crawled over to kiss him if she wasn’t hesitant to move. “Consider yourself virtually kissed,” she said instead.

“Virtually?” Marcus asked, coming out from under the pillow, and then realization dawned and he turned all fawning parent. “Are you bleeding? Do you have a fever? Abby, you should do a cold compress, that might help some with the pain…” He got up and walked around the bed to squat next to it, kissing Diyoza’s forehead. “Do you want me to stay home from work?”

Diyoza blinked at the rapid fire questions, trying to sort them out. “I don’t know, I don’t think so, and thank you for asking but I know you have important work to do,” she finally said, his last question the one that really tugged at her heart. The man loved his job. He was an explorer, an adventurer at his core, and the look in his eyes when they discovered a new plant or animal or brought back some new supply could inspire nations. Offering to skip a day of discovery to stay home and take care of her with Abby… it meant more than words could express or even define. It was a wonder she didn’t burst into tears.

Abby loved him all the more for that question too, but she could take care of Diyoza and she wouldn’t want Marcus to miss out on something exciting. Miller would never let him hear the end of it.

“Okay,” Marcus said with a nod, giving her a kiss, then pulling Abby in for a kiss that lingered. “Breakfast in bed, you said?” he then asked as he stood. “I think I can handle that.”

“Can you bring some extra eggs, baby? The collagen might help, and at the very least she needs to up her protein intake in case of exudation.”

They both stared at her. “Maybe take off the lab coat, doc?” Diyoza smirked.

“Right,” Abby said sheepishly. “The collagen in protein can help speed up the healing process.”

“And the other fucked up thing you said?”

Abby snorted and playfully smacked her on the shoulder. “Exudation. You can lose protein if you have a wound that leaks any kind of fluid, so you need to make sure you replace it just in case.”

Diyoza groaned and hid her face. “I’m sorry I asked.”

Marcus put some pants on just as a knock came at the door.

“That must be Jordan since he knocked and is waiting for an answer before opening it,” Abby said wryly. “Come in, Jordan,” she called.

Marcus left as Jordan came in, giving the kid a nod.

Jordan took one look at Diyoza and Abby snuggled under the sheet and turned bright red. “That’s, um, just sign this, you’re, um, you’re obviously excused for the day,” he said awkwardly, looking somewhere above the bed as he walked over and held out the form for Diyoza to sign.

Diyoza scrawled her signature and flopped back down with a groan of pain.

“Sorry,” Jordan said, immediately heading for the door. “I hope you feel better.” And he was gone.

“Do you think I looked sick enough?” Diyoza nearly whined.

“I think once he saw us in bed together nothing else mattered and he would have excused you just to get out of here,” Abby laughed. “Let me get a cold compress, honey.”

Diyoza nodded and let her get up, eyes tracking her lover until she disappeared into the bathroom. How exactly did she end up with two such sappy romantics? She must have done something selfless in the past that she couldn’t remember doing.

Abby got a washcloth wet and wrung it out a little, so that it still retained moisture but wouldn’t drip everywhere, and made her way back to the bed. “On your tummy,” she directed.

Diyoza sighed and rolled onto her stomach, just a touch embarrassed when Abby pulled the sheet away and put the compress on her ass. The cold was soothing, though. “Is there blood?”

“I don’t see any right now,” Abby said gently.

A few minutes later Marcus came back with a box full of breakfast, and Diyoza’s first instinct was to cover herself with the sheet, somehow thinking this aftercare stuff was a girl thing, but she forced her hands still and just turned her head to watch him set up their meals.

Abby noticed the tension and pulled the sheet up to her lover’s waist. She leaned down to whisper in Diyoza’s ear. “Next time I want you to ask for what you need,” she encouraged, kissing the side of the colonel’s face.

Diyoza got choked up again at the tenderness and the way Abby could almost read her thoughts sometimes, and it made her feel so close it was scary. “Okay,” she whispered. “I’ll try.” Voicing her needs was incredibly difficult for her and she didn’t know if she’d ever be able to do it the way other people did, but for Abby she would try.

Marcus set everything out on trays and brought them to the side of the bed, then kissed each of his girls again and went to get ready for work.

“Thank you, baby,” Abby called after him.

“Thanks,” Diyoza echoed. Her eyes flicked to the food and then to Abby. “I think I should stand up, maybe…”

“Let’s see if you can sit,” Abby suggested instead. “I’ll help you.” Once she heard the shower going she took the sheet away again and moved the compress to the nightstand, then helped Diyoza roll onto her back and gently lifted her by the shoulders.

Diyoza gasped at the initial pressure when Abby started to sit her up, breathing a little heavy with the sharp pain it caused, but then she was able to settle, wiping a little sweat from her forehead and taking a deep breath. “Okay,” she said shakily. “It’s okay now.”

Abby stared down at her hands for a minute, playing with the hem of her blouse, and apparently she was quiet longer than expected because when she looked up Diyoza was staring at her. She cleared her throat and swallowed, trying to make her question sound a bit more casual than it felt. “Do you have regrets?”

Diyoza blinked. That was not what she would have expected Abby to say. “What? No, not a single one,” she swore. “This is just what it is. You want good sex, you have to suffer afterwards once in awhile. No regrets.”

Abby let out a whoosh of air, relief flooding through her. “Because I feel responsible—”

“Abby,” Diyoza interrupted. “I would suffer far worse than this to turn you on. If it would get you fucking hot to spank me right now, I’d scream and cry, but I’d crawl over your lap and beg for it. You get me?”

It was Abby’s turn for heavy breathing, and she took a minute to just process that while her lungs refused to fill completely. Maybe shallow breathing was a better description of her oxygenation process at the moment. Certainly all the blood rushed from her head and focused itself between her legs, making her squirm. “I would never,” she whispered when she found her voice. “But I very much get you, and it very much makes me melt… and makes me wet,” she confessed.

Diyoza leaned in for a kiss, conveying her feelings through the touch, and then took a shaky breath. “Okay, are we doing this breakfast thing or what?”

“Meaning that’s enough emotion for you for one morning?” Abby teased, moving beside her so she could grab a fork and spear some eggs, then held it to her lover’s mouth.

“You _do_ get me,” Diyoza said cheekily, opening her mouth but making a face when she started chewing. “Jesus, can a girl get some salt around here? These taste like rubber.”

“Zaya is not going to like that,” Abby said, raising an eyebrow.

“You would not tell her I said that,” Diyoza said, staring at Abby with her mouth open.

“No, I would not,” Abby snickered, getting up to go through the box Marcus had brought and returning with some salt. She opened one of the little packets and sprinkled it over the eggs, then offered another bite.

Diyoza relaxed, not wanting rat poison in her next meal. Zaya was not the friendliest person on the planet, but she was the best chef. The eggs were usually delicious. “Maybe the chickens are on strike,” she muttered, taking the offered bite, much happier with the taste even though it was crap compared to the usual.

Abby turned her head as Marcus emerged from the bathroom and went to his bureau for some clothes. “Was there anything unusual going on in the cafeteria? Your little girl here says the eggs taste like rubber.”

Marcus’s face showed brief amusement before he realized that he did actually know the reason. He hadn’t thought anything of it when he was getting the food, but now it made sense. “I didn’t actually see Zaya. Murphy was in the kitchen.”

Diyoza and Abby both groaned, looking skeptically over the other array of food, and Diyoza turned wide, manipulative eyes on Marcus. “Daddy, do I really have to eat it?”

Abby bit the inside of her cheek to keep from bursting into laughter but Marcus didn’t seem to find it funny and answered without missing a beat, “unless you want to take your sore backside over to the corner and stand with your nose in it until I get home from work, yes.”

Abby squeaked protectively, laying a hand on Diyoza’s arm, and Diyoza just stared at Marcus in shock.

“Turn yourself back around and eat your breakfast,” Marcus said sharply, slipping on a long-sleeved oxford and starting to button it up.

Diyoza’s heart was racing at the rebuke and she almost felt all quivery and sad, but Abby was right there rubbing her arm and offering her more eggs. She turned back to the tray and opened her mouth, taking the food from the fork when Abby moved it closer. She could unwrap her weird, fluttery feelings later and maybe by then they would make sense.

Marcus finished getting dressed, watching to make sure every bite of eggs was consumed, and when Diyoza didn’t put up any more of a fuss, he relaxed a little. Her innocent and playful question had raised his hackles in alarm and he didn’t know why. Maybe he felt guilty that she was in pain this morning and he wasn’t processing that emotion correctly. He ran his hands through his hair and walked around to squat down in front of her.

Diyoza stiffened at his approach, not sure whether she was about to be reprimanded again, and she cursed a blue streak inside her head when she felt hot tears well up in her eyes. What the fuck were they doing to her? She was practically crying over being scolded?

“Look at me,” Marcus said gently but firmly, and when she did, and he saw the tears in her eyes, he kicked himself again for being so sharp with her. He sat on the bed next to her instead and pulled her carefully into his arms. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Daddy’s sorry,” he said, stroking her hair and looking helplessly at Abby. “You didn’t deserve that… your question just made me feel something I can’t quite pinpoint, but something in the realm of alarm. I reacted poorly. You’re a good girl.”

Diyoza put her arms around him and heaved out a sob, the dam finally breaking after decades of holding tough.

Marcus was nonplussed but held her through the storm, Abby scooting closer and rubbing her back while she cried. Somehow they both knew that this was the emotional release that had been a long time coming, and being scolded was just the very tiny, almost microscopic tip of the iceberg.

Maybe it was because she truly felt safe for the first time she could remember. Maybe it was because she knew without a doubt that they loved her. Maybe it was because she didn’t want to do this later, when Hope was with them, and she knew it was inevitable. Maybe it was because deep down she craved approval and Marcus’s disapproval had triggered something buried in the depths of her psyche. Whatever it was, she stopped fighting it and just let the tears go, her body shaking as Marcus held her and Abby offered her gentle comfort. When she had exhausted all her tears she wiped her eyes on his shirt and sat there quietly for another few minutes before she found her voice, raspy as it was. “I’ll eat everything you brought. I’m sorry I scared you,” she whispered.

Marcus squeezed her tight and then took Abby’s hand, squeezing that tight and kissing her knuckles. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay home from work?” he asked them both.

Diyoza extracted herself from him and shook her head. “No, you love it.”

“I do love it,” he agreed, “but there is nothing I love more than the two of you. _Nothing_.”

Okay, now Abby thought she was going to start fucking crying. “Get out of here, Marcus,” she shooed him away with a grin, stealing a kiss as she shoved him toward the edge of the bed. “You’re making your ladies fall apart.”

“You’re sure?” he asked as he stood up, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, you jackass, go,” Abby laughed.

“All right, all right. Take good care of her,” he said to Abby. Then to Diyoza, “and you be good for her.”

“I will, Daddy,” Diyoza promised.

He blew them both a kiss and finally slid out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the characters decide for themselves what's going to happen. I blame Diyoza for the feels at the end of this chapter.


End file.
